The Story of What Happens When Something Happens
by Captain Black Rum
Summary: CHP15! KENSHIN'S GOT THE MAGIC W CLOROX! Sugar-crazed Kenshin, an extremely emotional Aoshi, Saitou picking daisies, Shishio making brownies, and Megumi getting addicted to coffee. Are you afraid of chairs? R&R!
1. Sugar!

Title: None Yet  
Author: Taji  
Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin, and if you try to sue me I'll  
destroy the world. Really. (runs away and hides.)  
  
CHAPTER ONE:  
The director looks around the set and smiles to himself. Everything  
was going according to plan.  
Director: Ok, everyone get on the set!  
[Shock! Reverse Blade Broken!] TAKE ONE!  
...The tip of Kenshin's sword flies off and clatters to the ground.  
Kenshin: 0.0  
Soujiro: Well, I'll see you in Kyoto, Mr. Himura!  
Soujiro begins to walk off the set, smiling, as Saitou and Misao  
watch. Kenshin twitches strangely as he looks at his broken sword.  
Suddenly, he grabs the director's chair from off the set and attacks  
Soujiro with it.  
Kenshin: MY SWORD! LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO IT, YOU FIEND! YOU'LL PAY, THAT YOU  
WILLLLL!!!!  
He jumps up in the air and tries to slam the lightweight foldable  
chair down on Soujiro's head. Soujiro runs away, screaming.  
Soujiro: AHHHHHH!!!! THIS WASN'T IN THE SCRIPT!!!!!  
Director: CUT! CUT!  
Kenshin: I can't cut with a BROKEN SWORD! COME BACK HERE, YOU! NOT SMILING  
NOW, ARE YOU?!?  
Director: No! Stop the show! Stop it, both of you!  
Saitou:..0.o  
Misao: ...Woah..Didn't see that coming.  
Saitou: Yeah..So, what did you do this summer?  
Misao: Nothing really, what about you?  
Saitou: (looks smug) I went to Disney World.  
Misao: So? I went last year.  
Sanosuke walks up, ignoring Kenshin, who is still chasing Soujiro,  
and the screaming director.  
Sano: Well, I went to Six Flags.  
Saitou: Disney World's better.  
Aoshi strolls over to the group, calmly ignoring the chaos around  
him, and stands next to Misao.  
Misao: Yeah, Disney World is way cooler than Six Flags! .Oh, hi Aoshi,  
what's up?  
Aoshi: ...  
Sano: No way! Six Flags rules!  
Saitou: No, Disney World!  
Sano: Six Flags!  
Saitou & Misao: DISNEY WORLD!  
Sano: SIX FLAGS!  
Saitou and Misao: DISNEY WORLD!  
Aoshi watches for a few more minutes, looking from Sanosuke to Saitou  
to Misao. Suddenly he bursts into tears.  
Aoshi: JUST BECAUSE I'VE NEVER BEEN TO AN AMUSEMENT PARK DOESN'T MEAN YOU  
HAVE TO RUB IT IN!  
He runs to his trailer, crying.  
Misao: Wow....He's pretty upset....  
Sanosuke:  
Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..?  
Misao & Saitou: (blink at his extremely long and pointless sentence word  
thingy.)  
Saitou: I know! Let's pick daisies for him!  
Sano: Ok!  
Misao: Sounds good to me!  
Saitou, Misao, and Sanosuke skip off to find some daisies.  
brThe director snatches his chair from Kenshin's hands and grabs  
him to keep him from attacking Soujiro as Kaoru, Yahiko, Megumi, Shishio,  
and Yumi come in to watch, sipping coffee. Soujiro hides behind Hiko as he  
strides in behind the others.  
Kenshin: He broke my sword, Miss Kaoru!!!!  
Kaoru: I SAY WE KILL HIM!  
Kenshin: (grumbles) I've been trying to do that, but the director won't let  
me....  
Director: Kenshin, calm down.Did you have any sugar today?  
Kenshin: (twitches) ..Sugar? No....of course...not..no sugar..  
Hiko: Not unless you count the hundreds of bags he keeps ordering from the  
sugar company...  
Kenshin: You're not supposed to know about that! NO ONE IS SUPPOSED TO KNOW  
ABOUT THAT! NO ONE!!!!  
brMegumi: Caffeine..caffeine good...must have more caffeine....(grabs  
another cup of coffee.)  
Yahiko: Hey, Shishio....  
Shishio: (smiles warmly at him) Yes, dear child?  
Yahiko: You got any of those cookies left?  
Shishio: No, but today I made BROWNIES!  
Kenshin: Brownies? With....with sugar in them?!?  
Shishio: Of course! (holds up a huge plate of brownies)  
Kenshin: YAY! (gorges himself on brownies)  
Kaoru, Megumi, Yahiko, Yumi, and Hiko help themselves to the  
brownies, being careful not to get in Kenshin's way. Soujiro whimpers and  
hides behind a plant. The director sighs and wonders why he has to work  
with these people.  
Director: (to Hiko) Is all that sugar good for him?  
Hiko: Is all that sake good for me?  
Kaoru, Megumi, Yahiko, Shishio, Yumi, Soujiro: No.  
Hiko: There you have it.  
Director: Have what?  
Hiko: The lost city of Atlantis.  
Director: You're not making sense.  
Hiko: Damn it! That no good apprentice forgot to take his sword for a walk!  
How is it supposed to get any exercise if it's always cooped up like  
that?!?  
Kaoru: I think he's had too much sake.....  
Hiko suddenly takes out his sword and performs the final attack of  
the Hiten Mitsurugi Style on the nearest person-the camera guy.  
Yumi: ....Definitely too much sake....  
Camera Guy: Arrggghh...it burns...  
Shishio: (glares) How do you think I feel?!?  
Megumi: Hey....I'M A DOCTOR!  
Megumi rushes over and checks the Camera Guy's injuries, then  
produces bandages out of thin air and bandages the wounds. She then throws  
him out the window.  
Megumi: BYE BYE!  
Director: What--? What did you do that for?!?  
Megumi: Umm...I dunno....(grabs another cup of coffee)  
Must...have.....CAFFEINE!  
Soujiro: Can I come out now?  
brTO BE CONTINUED......(if you want me to continue it...)  
  
brTaji: How do you like it? Umm.I know they're all really out of  
character, but.  
Aoshi: What do you mean, out of character? I WANNA GO TO DISNEY WORLD!  
Sano: Why not Six Flags?!? DOES ANYONE HERE LIKE SIX FLAGS????  
Megumi: I like Six Flags.it's almost as good as coffee! (grabs another cup  
of coffee.)  
Yahiko: Don't you think you've had enough coffee?  
Megumi: What? It's only my 299,345,668,567,478th cup!  
Hiko: And my stupid apprentice forgot to feed his sword, too! DOES HE WANT  
IT TO DIE OR SOMETHING?!?  
All except Hiko: 0.o  
Taji: Er..thanks for reading..If I get like..3 reviews or something..I'll  
continue it...And yes, I know the format stinks, but I'm new to ff.net SO  
JUST GIMME A CHANCE, WILL YA??? *runs away crying.* 


	2. Revenge and Daisies

Taji: Thanks for the reviews, everyone! ^_^ Really, thank you! I LOVE YOU  
ALL!  
*sobs hysterically and hugs all the reviewers.*  
  
Chapter Two:  
  
It's the day after the filming of "Shock! Reverse Blade Sword  
Broken!" (A/N: or whatever it's called....). Kenshin is walking on the  
boardwalk by himself, happily licking an ice cream cone.  
  
Kenshin: ^_^ Sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar! Yay!  
  
Suddenly, Kaoru runs up to him, clutching a piece of paper in her  
hand.  
  
Kaoru: KENSHIN! You gotta see this! (holds the paper in front of his face.)  
  
Kenshin: (gives her a weird look) It's just a blank piece of paper.  
  
Kaoru: I KNOW! ISN'T IT AWESOME?!? ^_^  
  
Kenshin: o.o (stares at her)  
  
Kaoru: What? What is it?  
  
Kenshin: I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO! YOU'RE TRYING TO KEEP ME AWAY  
FROM MY SUGAR! WELL, IT WON'T WORK!!!!! (runs away, clutching his ice cream  
cone protectively.)  
  
Kaoru: O.O WHAT?!? NO! COME BACK!!!!! (chases after him, waving the piece  
of paper in the air.) POWER TO THE PAPER!!!!!!!  
  
.......Meanwhile, Aoshi sits in his trailer with the door locked, sobbing  
hysterically. Just like he had been doing all day yesterday.  
  
Aoshi: THEY J-JUST D-DON'T UNDERSTAND!  
  
He looks up, hearing someone knock on his door.  
  
Aoshi: Who's there? (dries his eyes quickly)  
  
Misao: It's me and Sano and Saitou! We brought something to make you feel  
better!  
  
Aoshi: ^_^ (thinking) YAAAAY! THEY DO CARE! (opens the door.)  
  
Sanosuke: We got you some DAISIES!  
  
Saitou: (holds out the daisies, which are in a small glass vase, beaming at  
Aoshi.) See? Aren't they so pretty?!? I just LOVE daisies! (starts to sing  
and dance) Daisies, daisies, how I love you! Daisies, daisies, you ate my  
shoe!  
  
Misao: ^_^ Yay! Words!  
  
Aoshi: (his eyes brim with tears of joy) OH, THANK YOU, YOU GUYS!  
  
Sano: YAY! GROUP HUG!  
  
All: (hug each other) ^_^  
  
Misao: (suddenly glares at them all.) Remember, we never had this  
conversation.  
  
A black convertible pulls up. When Misao hops in, it transforms into a jet  
and flies away.  
  
Back at the studio, Megumi is twitching violently, sitting at the table  
with Yahiko, Shishio, Yumi, Soujiro, and Hiko.  
Megumi: O.O MUST...HAVE....MORE...COFFEE!  
  
Yahiko: Megumi? Why are your eyes all big and red and weird like that?  
  
Megumi: Shut up you selfish little brat, and get me some coffee!!!!!!  
  
Yahiko: (looks cheerfully around at everyone) She's right, you know! I'm  
just a selfish little kid who can't do anything! ...Except blackmail  
people..and..get..rich...Um...I'll go get that coffee, then!  
  
Shishio: (muttering to himself) That stupid redhead...he ate all my sugar,  
every last piece....Now I can't make baked goods....damn him, DAMN HIM!  
  
Yumi: (blinks at him and edges away slightly) You know, you could just use  
one of those sugar substitute things.  
  
Shishio: (glares at her) WHAT?!? HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST SUCH A THING! I SHALL  
HAVE MY REVENGE ON YOU! (starts muttering again) ...You and that stupid  
redhead....oh yes, revenge is good...very good...  
  
Soujiro: (stands frozen with fear, staring at his chair.) Is it all right  
if I sit on the floor...? I've had this....thing....about chairs.....ever  
since Himura...Well, you know....  
  
Shishio: (smiles at him) Why of course, my dear friend! In fact, let us  
both sit under the table and discuss...certain...things...  
(muttering) Revenge....must plot revenge....  
  
Soujiro and Shishio sit under the table, discussing something quietly.  
Occasionally, insane laughter can be heard.  
Hiko gulps down his eighth glass of sake.  
  
Hiko: (talking to himself) I don't care what they say, I DO NOT have a  
drinking problem...  
  
Yahiko: (returns with forty cups of coffee and shrugs at Hiko.) Sure looks  
like it to me. (hands Megumi the coffee.)  
  
Megumi: Heh....you have problems...(drinks all forty cups and starts  
twitching again.) COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE! I MUST SPREAD THE WORD OF THE  
WONDERFUL COFFEE TO ALL WHO ARE WITHIN TEN MILES OF THIS STUDIO! (runs out  
of the studio, screaming something about "wonderful coffee".)  
  
Yahiko: Yes! Blackmail! (grabs a video camera and runs after Megumi.)  
  
Yumi: o.0 (looks at Hiko, who is drinking his 862nd glass of sake.)  
Hiko...I think that's enough...  
  
Hiko: I DO NOT HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM! (collapses on the table.)  
A tiny action figure of Kenshin runs onto the table, waving its arms  
frantically and in obvious distress. Yumi stares at it as it acts out what  
it's trying to say.  
  
Yumi: OHHHHH! I get it! Kenshin's stuck in a well! Wait a  
minute....Kenshin's stuck in a well?!?  
  
Kenshin Action Figure: (Nods vigorously and runs off to show Yumi the way.)  
  
Yumi: (follows in, running as fast as she can.)  
  
Kenshin sits at the bottom of a well, looking up at Kaoru, who is  
still clutching her piece of paper.  
Kaoru: DON'T WORRY, KENSHIN! I SENT ONE OF MY KENSHIN ACTION FIGURES TO GET  
HELP!  
  
Kenshin: Thank you! Wait a minute...you have action figures of me?  
  
Kaoru: Yep! So, you wanna see the paper again?  
  
Kenshin: NOOOOOOOOO! YOU CAN'T HAVE MY SUGAR! (devours ice cream)  
Wait...NOW I NEED MORE SUGAR! (starts to run around in circles  
frantically.)  
  
TO BE CONTINUED.....  
  
Taji: The format's a little better...please R&R! Death threats are welcome!  
^_^  
Kenshin: SUGAR! MUST HAVE SUGAR! (continues to run around in circles,  
screaming about sugar)  
Taji: I SAID 'TO BE CONTINUED'! 


	3. Voices

Taji: Again, thanks for the great reviews! ^_^ Unfortunately, I don't have  
time to answer them all. *sniff* Maybe in the next chapter...? But really,  
thank you soooooooooooooooooo much! Lots of Reviews= HAPPY TAJI!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I own Rurouni Kenshin. OR DO I? Bum bum bummmm....  
  
Kenshin is still running in circles, screaming about sugar. Kaoru  
keeps trying to show him what she now calls THE ALL POWERFUL PAPER, but he  
thinks it's part of a plot to get his sugar. Yumi is following the action  
figure of Kenshin, Hiko's still out cold, Shishio and Soujiro are  
discussing...something, Megumi is trying to spread the word of the  
wonderful coffee, Yahiko's making blackmail tapes of Megumi, Saitou and  
Sanosuke are at Aoshi's trailer, Misao never came back, and the director is  
standing in front of a mirror and asking himself, "WHY DID I HAVE TO BE THE  
ONE TO WORK WITH THESE LUNATICS?!?" over and over again. Oh yes,  
everything's perfectly normal.  
  
Kenshin: (falls over. His left eye starts twitching.)  
Sugar...need.....sugar..  
  
Kaoru: Are you all right? Your eye's starting to twitch again. Hey, do you  
want to see THE ALL POWERFUL PAPER????  
  
Kenshin: (looks up.) SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! (starts to cry.)  
  
Kaoru: o.0 Okaaaay...  
  
Kenshin: SHUT UP!!!!!  
  
Kenshin Action Figure: (runs over to the well) MEEP EEP!  
  
Yumi: (runs after the Kenshin Action Figure, panting.)  
Kenshin...I..finally..found..you...(collapses from heat exhaustion.)  
  
Kaoru: What do you mean, heat exhaustion?!? THERE'S SNOW ON THE GROUND!!!  
  
Narrator: (You're not supposed to hear me. And there's no snow anywhere  
around here.)  
  
Kaoru: VOICES! THERE'S VOICES!  
  
Kenshin: What?  
  
Yumi: (wakes up) What do you mean, voices? (looks at Kaoru, puzzled.)  
  
Kaoru: THERE IT IS AGAIN! THE VOICES ARE EEEVIL, I TELL YOU! EEEVIL!!!!  
  
Kenshin Action Figure: ...Meep? (looks at Kenshin and Yumi.) Meep eep meep.  
  
Yumi: Yeah, you're right.  
  
Kenshin: How come you're the only one who can understand him? AND GET ME  
OUT OF THIS WELL! SUGAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!! (gets up and runs in  
circles again.)  
  
Kaoru: THE VOICES! THE VOICES!!!!!!!!!!! (runs away, clutching THE ALL  
POWERFUL PAPER) POWER TO THE PAPER! DESTROY THE VOICES!  
  
Yumi: Whatever. Okay, Kenshin, let me just grab a rope or something.  
  
Random Eskimo: MOOFALOOFA!!! GERRAAAARRRGGHAAAARRR!!!!!!!!!! (runs past  
them)  
  
Misao: (flies past in a black jet, firing missiles at the Random Eskimo.)  
MWAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!  
  
Kenshin, Yumi, Kenshin Action Figure: O.O  
  
Meanwhile, Megumi is rushing into town, grasping a half empty cup of  
coffee.  
  
Megumi: COFFEE IS GOOD, COFFEE IS GREAT! TRY SOME!!!!!!!!!!! (throws coffee  
cups at random citizens.)  
  
Coffee: (splashes onto the random citizens' skin.)  
  
Random Citizens: AHHH! IT BURNS! (They run away screaming about insane  
coffee addicts.)  
  
Kaoru: (dashes past, holding THE ALL POWERFUL PAPER) THE VOICES! THEY'RE  
EVERYWHERE! THE VOICES ARE EEEEEEEVVVVVIIIIILLLLL!!!!!! KILL THE  
VOICES!!!!!!!  
  
Yahiko: (smirks a Saitou-ish smirk.) Oh, this is just too good to be true!  
(holds up video camera. Laughs evilly.)  
  
Hiko: (stumbles over to Yahiko) You got any sake on you, kid?  
  
Yahiko: Umm..no..  
  
Hiko: WHAT?!? AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU, THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?!?  
WELL, PREPARE TO D-Oh, look, a kitty! (rushes towards the cat and picks it  
up, stroking it happily.) I like kitties....  
  
Yahiko: MWAHAHA! (turns the camera towards Hiko.)  
  
Kitty: (punches camera lens and breaks it.) BWAHAHA! Er...I mean..Meow.  
  
Hiko: ^_^ C'mon Kitty, let's find some sake. (walks away, holding the  
kitty.)  
  
Kitty: (purs.)  
  
In the studio, Soujiro and Shishio are still talking underneath the table.  
  
Shishio: And then we'll lift the chicken up, and throw it in his face!  
  
Soujiro: Er..what are you talking about? We were just discussing the  
weather....  
  
Shishio: o.o Um....Muffins? Do you think we should give him muffins soaked  
in chili?  
  
Soujiro: Who?  
  
Shishio: KENSHIN! HIMURA KENSHIN! WE MUST HAVE REVENGE ON HIM FOR STEALING  
MY SUGAR SO THAT I CANNOT MAKE MY AWESOMELY FANTASTIC BAKED GOODS!  
ARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!  
  
Soujiro: Oh.  
  
Shishio: So, what do you think of the muffin idea?  
  
Soujiro: Not to be rude, but can't you just use one of those sugar  
substitutes?  
  
Shishio: (twitches slightly, but manages to calm down. A little.) NOOOO!  
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE MUFFINS?!?  
  
Soujiro: It....it sounds like an excellent idea, Shishio-sama.  
  
Shishio: Good. I'll make the muffins, and then....  
  
Soujiro: How are you going to make muffins without sugar?  
  
Shishio: (stares at him for several hours. He then faints.)  
  
Soujiro: Shishio? Shishio-sama? Hellooo?  
  
At Aoshi's trailer....  
  
Saitou: This pineapple chocolate bar ice cream cheese cake with strawberry-  
banana filling is awesome, Aoshi!  
  
Aoshi: ^_^ Thanks! I baked it myself! (A/N: you can just picture him in an  
apron, stirring the batter, can't you?)  
  
Sanosuke: It's really good! I'm allergic to pineapple chocolate bar ice  
cream cheesecake with strawberry-banana filling, but it's just so GOOD!  
  
Saitou: Yeah. (stares at the daisies, which are now in the center of the  
table.)  
  
Sano: Um..Are you okay, Saitou?  
  
Saitou: Yes...never better...(continues to stare at the daisies.)  
  
Aoshi: He's just going through daisy separation anxiety.  
  
Sano: Ohhhh, okay.  
  
Aoshi: (hears a noise and looks out the window.)  
  
Kaoru: VOICES! THE VOICES! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sano: What was that?  
  
Aoshi: ...Nothing...(closes the curtains and sits back down.) So, you want  
to go to Wal Mart? I hear they're having a sale on death rays.  
  
Saitou: (looks up) You really can get anything at that place, can't you?  
  
Sanosuke: Of course! Wal Mart is the place for all your needs, whether you  
need food, clothes, or even kitchen supplies!  
  
Aoshi: And they have great prices on all your favorite brands!  
  
Saitou: That's amazing! Let's go to Wal Mart right now!  
  
Sanosuke: Good idea!  
  
Aoshi: Because Wal Mart is pine fresh!  
  
Sanosuke: 0.0  
  
Saitou: ..What?  
  
Aoshi: Nevermind. Let's just go.  
  
.....TO BE CONTINUED....  
  
Taji: Please please please please please please please please  
PLEEEEEEAAAAASE review!  
Kenshin: I never got my sugar. (pouts)  
Taji: You'll get some next chapter, okay?!?  
Kenshin: ^_^ Yay!  
Taji: next chapter will be up soon, because I don't think Kenshin will last  
too long without sugar.  
Kenshin: Only a few hours. Then I.....blow things up...  
Taji: o.0 Things like.....people?  
Kenshin: Sometimes. 


	4. OH MY GOD! KENSHIN BLEW UP!

FINALLY! THE FOURTH CHAPPY! WHEEEEEE! *falls off chair.* See, ff.net  
wouldn't let me upload any of my fics because of a so called 'infraction'.  
But I AM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! FREE TO DESTROY THE WORL-I mean, free to help  
feed the poor children.....*shifty eyes*  
  
Disclaimer: I CAN FLY!!!!!!!! *jumps out window. Dies. Undies.*  
  
Okay, so here we are with Yumi, Kenshin, and the Kenshin Action Figure.  
They're still trying to find a way to get Kenshin out of the well.  
  
Yumi: Hey, look! A fire engine! (throws a smoke bomb thingy at the firemen  
and steals their ladder while the smoke blocks their vision.)  
  
Fireman # 1: Hey! How are we supposed to save that woman and her baby  
without a ladder?  
  
Fireman # 2: (shrugs) I dunno. Let's just go home.  
  
Fireman # 1: Okay! Why don't we stop at Burger King on the way?  
  
(Both firemen get into the truck and drive away, ignoring the calls for  
help from the burning building.)  
  
Kenshin: SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!  
NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED SUUUUUUUUUUGAAAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (blows  
up)  
  
Yumi: O.O (drops the ladder) Okaaay...How are we going to explain this to  
the director?  
  
Kenshin Action Figure: Meeep! Meep eep meep eep eep eeep eeeep  
meepmeeeeeep!  
  
Yumi: That's crazy! So crazy....it might just work....Wait, what did you  
say?  
  
Kenshin Action Figure: MEEEEP! MEEP EEP---  
  
Yumi: (interrupts him) Nevermind, you're stupid. I'm going to the arcade.  
See ya.  
  
Meanwhile, at Wal Mart.......  
  
Saitou: (in the floral department with a plastic toy gun pointed at the  
manager.) GIMME ALL YOUR DAISIES, OR THE GUN GETS IT! (holds up sword,  
bringing it down just above the plastic gun.)  
  
Manager: GASP! NO! DON'T DO IT! HERE, TAKE THEM! TAKE THEM ALL! JUST DON'T  
HURT THAT POOR, INNOCENT PLASTIC GUN! (throws all the daisies at Saitou.)  
  
Saitou: (drops the gun and takes out a basket, then stuffs all the daisies  
inside it.) ^_^ Thank you!  
  
Manager: ^_^ Always glad to help a customer! Have a nice day, sir!  
  
Saitou: You too! Sayonara! ^_^ (walks into the toy department to find Aoshi  
and Sano.)  
  
Aoshi: (sitting in the middle of the toy aisle, moving a toy truck back and  
forth.) Vrooooooooom.....vrooooooom....Reeeeeeeeeeeeer..  
SCREECH! POW! (smashes the truck into a million pieces) AHAHAHAHAHA!  
FEEEEAAAAAARRRR MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! FEEEEAAAAAARRR MEEEE...Oh, hi  
Saitou. What's up?  
  
Saitou: Look! I got daisies!  
  
Sanosuke: (is playing with a fire truck.) Wheeeeeroooooooo....That's nice,  
Saitou. How much did you pay for them?  
  
Saitou: o.0 Pay...for....them...?  
  
Sano: YOU MEAN YOU STOLE THEM?!? THAT IS JUST WRONG! GO BACK AND PAY FOR  
THEM!!!!!!!!  
  
Saitou: o.0 If I pay for your fire engine, will you leave me alone?  
  
Sano: Uh.....OKAY! (starts playing with fire truck again.)  
Wheeeeeerrrroooooo! Wheeeeerooooo!  
  
Aoshi: (is smashing all the toys around him.) FEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAARRRRRR  
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Saitou: O.O"  
  
Back with Megumi and Yahiko......  
  
Yahiko: (is trying to fix his camera) DAMN THAT STUPID CAT!  
  
Enishi: (pops up out of no where) GASP! I LIKE KITTIES! YOU'RE MEEEEAN!  
(runs away crying)  
  
Yahiko: O.O What....?  
  
Yumi: (walks past Yahiko on her way to the arcade, an angry Kenshin action  
figure following and muttering angrily at her.) Hey, Yahiko! I'm going to  
the arcade, sotellthedirectorthatKenshinblewupokaybye! (runs away before  
Yahiko can make sense of what she just said.)  
  
Megumi: (runs around Yahiko in circles) COFFEE COFFEE COFEE! I WANT COFFEE,  
NANANANANANAA! I WANT COFFEE, NANANANANANAAA!  
CCCCCCCCOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kaoru: (comes running by) THE VOICES! THE VOOOOOOOIIICCCESSS!!!!!! (stops  
and grabs Yahiko's shoulders, shaking him) Yahiko! The voices! The evil  
voices are trying to take over the world! WE MUST STOP THEM!  
  
Misao: (lands her jet) Yo. I'll help you stop the voices! Hop in, Kaoru!  
  
Kaoru: (jumps in the jet, still clutching THE ALL POWERFUL PAPER.) WHEEEE!  
  
Misao's Jet: (takes off and flies away)  
  
Yahiko: O.O" Am I the only sane one here?!?  
  
Kenshin: (walks towards him casually, licking a chocolate ice cream cone  
with M&M's, rainbow sprinkles, whipped cream, brownie chunks, chocolate  
chips, chocolate syrup, skittles, caramel syrup, and a pile of sugar on  
top.) Yup.  
  
Yahiko: WHAT?!? Yumi just said that you blew up!!!!  
  
Kenshin: Yup. (licks his ice cream.)  
  
Yahiko: Then how are you here?!?  
  
Kenshin: Well, I'm the main character, so I can't die. Isn't it sad? Almost  
as sad as the purple pinballs who just wanted to find a policeman but ended  
up being stuck in a restaurant cleaning dishes until Cinderella found them  
and turned them blue and then they were really sad because they were blue  
and blue is the color of evil but so is purple so it wasn't really any  
different but for some reason it was and then they turned into phones and  
people kept forgetting to hang them up so they cried and cried and the guy  
who owned them was like hey why are my phones crying they must be broken so  
he sold them to Voldemort and Voldemort touched them and he died because  
they were really purple pinballs that got turned into blue phones. (licks  
his ice cream calmly)  
  
Yahiko: o.0 Ooookaaay.....  
  
Director: (speaking into a loudspeaker thingy that can be heard all over  
the world) HEY! WILL THE CAST OF RUROUNI KENSHIN PLEASE REPORT TO THE  
STUDIO?!? WE NEED YOU RIGHT NOW!!!!!! TIME TO FILM THE NEXT EPISODE!  
  
Cast of Rurouni Kenshin: (stop what they're doing and suddenly have black  
suits and sunglasses. They all jump into a limo and speed towards the  
studio.) WE MUST REACH THE STUDIO!  
  
Kenshin: (is driving) MWAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA! I'M GONNA RUN YOU OVER, GRANNY!  
(screeches around the corner, laughing insanely)  
  
All: O.O (grip the seats tightly)  
  
Kenshin: Uh....I mean...TO THE STUDIO!!!!!! (starts speeding again)  
  
TO BE CONTINUED.......  
  
Taji: Oh no...Kenshin's driving...(cringe)  
Kenshin: AHAHAHAAAAAA! (SCRREEEEEEECH! CRAAAASH!) I RULE THE ROAD!!!!!!!!  
Taji: O.O" (jumps out of car) Uh....R&R! 


	5. Stuck in a Fiddle! And Other Random Stuf...

Disclaimer: *kicks bound, gagged, and unconscious Watsuki behind couch*  
Yep, I own 'em....*shifty eyes*  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
So, after many....minor accidents ::cough::NEAR DEATH  
EXPERIENCE::cough::...And a few injuries...::cough::NECKBRACE! SCARRED FOR  
LIFE!::cough:: the cast of Rurouni Kenshin finally reached the studio. They  
had just begun doing the beginning theme, which was SUPPOSED to be Sobakasu  
(Freckles) but...uh...  
  
Rurouni Kenshin cast: We're stuck....in the middle of a fiddle!  
  
Kenshin: And the only way you help  
  
Kaoru: Is to give us some kelp!  
  
Whole cast: Because we're stuck....in the middle....of a fiddle...YAY!  
  
Director: STOP IT! DO IT RIGHT, YOU IDIOTS!  
  
Well, eventually they got it right. They started the episode when Kenshin  
goes back to learn the Hiten Mitsurugi succession technique.  
  
Hiko: ...and so as your master, it is my duty to end your life! (begins to  
walk towards Kenshin)  
  
Kenshin: Yeah, sure, whatever, do you have any sugar? (is looking around  
for sugar)  
  
Hiko: ...No, but I have sake!  
  
Kenshin: With sugar?!?!  
  
Hiko: No, but it's sake! (drinks all the sake in one gulp.)  
Heh....preetttttyyyy colllllllooooorrrrssss.....(passes out)  
  
Director: CUT! CUT! THAT WASN'T IN THE SCRIPT YOU MORONS!  
  
Hiko: (wakes up) SHUT UP! JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE EARS DOESN'T MAKE YOU A  
FROG! (starts dancing ballet) Lalalalaaaaaaaaaaa! Swan lake is  
sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Jacob!  
  
Jacob: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!?!?! (throws a moose at them and runs away.)  
  
Shishio: (is muttering to himself) Must....destroy....Kenshin....must  
avenge sugar.....HOT SAUCE!!!! (gets hit with the moose) MIGHTY  
BEEEAAAAAAANNNNSSSSSS!!!!!!  
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (cough)  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (passes out)  
  
Soujiro: ....Shishio-sama? *pokes him*  
  
Yumi: *playing Game Boy* YEAH! HIGH SCORE!  
  
Yahiko: It. Was. Funny.  
  
Me: (randomly appears) THAT'S MY LINE! (strangles Yahiko)  
  
Everyone besides Shishio: O.O"  
  
Yahiko: HELLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPP MEEEEEEEEEEE! (is strangled)  
  
Soujiro: *blinks.* Ummm....yeah...  
Hiko: DadadadadadeeeedaaaaaaaDAAAAAA!!!! I finished my WONDROUS performance  
of Swan Lake! Hey! Who's that?!?  
  
Me: _ Remember, we never had this conversation. (disappears)  
  
Director: YOU'RE ALL INSANE! NO MATTER! I AM A TYPE OF GERMAN CUSTARD!  
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Everyone else: o.o  
  
Director: ..What? Oh...Yeah...uh...(straightens tie nervously) Take two!  
  
Kenshin and Hiko: (take their places)  
  
Kenshin: I am not afraid of death!  
  
Hiko: (Thinking: Those eyes...Wait a minute, those eyes!)  
  
Kenshin: (eyes are hot pink) What? What are you looking at?  
  
Kaoru: (from off the set) Uh..Kenshin, your eyes are..uh..  
  
Kenshin: Damn it, they're doing that thing again! (closes his eyes and  
concentrates. Eyes turn red. Tries again. Eyes turn puke green.  
Again..rainbow eyes...)  
  
THREE DAYS LATER  
  
Kenshin: I GOT IT! (eyes are normal violet color)  
  
Director: ....That's nice, but you're supposed to have Battousai's eyes.  
  
Kenshin: (starts cursing) *&$*&^ !@#% *&@#*^@*&$*&@!!!!!! #&*#^#^$*&!!!!!!!  
ARGH!!!!!!!!! (turns sword to blade and charges at Director) DIE, DAMN YOU!  
  
Director: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (starts running)  
  
Hiko: (has been drinking 500 gallons of sake the past three days) All the  
pretty little  
pooooooooonnnnnniiiieeessss........lalalalalalalaaaaaa...(pets the kitty  
that he found, which followed him because Hiko's a magnet for kitties.)  
  
Yahiko: It. Was. Fun-(looks around nervously) I MEAN STUPID! It. Was.  
Stupid!  
  
Megumi: Dude, I'm like, not in the next few episodes! Dude, like, what's up  
with that! Dude, who is writing this stuff?!?!?! Cause, like, dude, I HAVE  
to be in like, every episode....Because....COFFEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!  
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!!!!!!!!!!! (starts guzzling down coffee)  
  
Sanosuke: (playing with fire engine in the corner)  
Reeeeeeeeeeerooooooooo....REEEEEERRROOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! OMG! SOMEBODY HELP  
THOSE POOR KIDS! THE SCHOOL IS BURNING! THE SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOL ISSSSS  
BUUUUUUUUUURRRRRNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!!  
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (runs around in circles, sobbing about  
the poor kids who don't exist inside the burning school that doesn't exist  
and waving his arms around.)  
  
Saitou: (smoking a cigarette with a daisy twirled around it. Numerous  
daisies adorn his hair, clothes, and are entwined around his fingers.)  
Ahou.  
  
Aoshi: (in the break room thingermajig, baking his famous pineapple  
chocolate bar ice cream cheese cake with strawberry-banana filling.) Hum  
dee dum dum.....  
  
Soujiro: Yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo  
yo YO-YO!!!!!!!!!!! (starts playing with yo-yos)  
  
Yugi: (appears) EVERYBODY FREEZE! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! (runs away  
screaming) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (cough)  
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (choke) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
(gasps for air) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Enishi: (jumps out of the wall) The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round,  
'round and 'round, 'round and 'round! The wheels on the bus go 'round and  
'round, all through the town! (jumps into a bus and drives away)  
  
Director: (shakes his head) You're all crazy. I'm setting up an appointment  
for all of you with the psychiatrist!  
  
Kenshin: Oro?  
  
Kaoru: I remember the psychiatrist...He's the nice guy who tells me I'm  
crazy....(laughs quietly)  
  
Kenshin: Oh yeah! I killed that guy!  
  
Director: YOU WHAT?!?  
  
Kenshin: Umm....Sugar? (runs away)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
TO BE CONTINUED......  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
A/N: Yeah..uh..so now Kenshin's sugar crazed and possibly....homicidal...?  
*turns all evil-ish* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! What will happen at the  
psychiatrist's office? Total chaos? Impending doom? Yeah, probably. Just  
wait 'till next chapter! ^________^  
REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	6. Of Waiting and Kangaroos

Disclaimer: I own everything. EVERYTHING!!!!!! DO YOU HEAR ME? I OWN THEM  
ALL! BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!  
  
A/N: I would like to thank all the people who have reviewed this story. You  
guys are the BEST!!!!! *hugs reviewers* ^_________________^  
  
You are GREAT reviewers, and you obviously appreciate humor. So check out  
Egyptian Lobster Guy's story, Yahiko's Missing! It's VERY funny! And ELG  
needs reviewers, or she'll DIE! Or kill ME! So if you don't review her,  
she'll kill me and you'll have no more of this story! Okay? Okay! The story  
ID is: 1531158  
R&R!!!!!!!  
  
Oh yeah, just one more thing......Whoever's the 50th reviewer has the honor  
of being....THE 50TH REVIEWER! YAAAAAAAY! *throws glitter and stuff at  
reviewers.*  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^__^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Title Announcer Guy: It. Has. No. Title.  
  
Chapter Announcer Guy: Chapter Six: Of Waiting and Kangaroos  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^__^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
So, the RK cast is in the psychiatrist's waiting room, doing what  
you're supposed to do in the waiting room. Waiting.  
  
Kaoru: There it is again! That voice! THE VOICES!!!! *twitches*  
  
Other Random People: o.0 *edge away from Kaoru*  
  
Misao: *dressed in a black suit and wearing dark sunglasses* *looks around  
all shifty-eyed.*  
  
Saitou: *stroking a large bouquet of daisies and muttering to himself* They  
will never get my daisies! NEVER! NEVERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!! *laughs insanely as  
people give him weird looks*  
  
Hiko: *talking to some kid* Do you like kitties? I like kitties. Kitties  
are pretty and soft and furry!  
  
Some Kid: Um...Actually, I'm, like, allergic to cats...  
  
Hiko: THEN YOU MUST DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE! *attacks Some Kid*  
  
Kenshin: But will you be able to connect with your attack, with your soul  
as confused as it is?  
  
Soujiro: What?  
  
Kenshin: Your soul. It's confused.  
  
Soujiro: It is?  
  
Kenshin: YES! WHY ELSE WOULD YOU DESTROY MY SWORD?!?! *gets a chair out of  
no where and tries to hit Soujiro with it*  
  
Soujiro: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! THE CHAIRS!!!!! THE  
CHAAAIIIIIIIRRRSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHISHIO-SAMA!!!!! HELP!!!!!  
  
Shishio: *is in Australia....somehow....* YOU! CAN YOU GIVE ME SUGAR FOR MY  
WONDERFUL BAKED GOODS?!?  
  
Kangaroo: Like, sorry, dude. But, like, we have sugar substitutes, dude!  
  
Shishio: ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! *attacks Kangaroo*  
  
Kangaroo: O.O AHHHHHH! DUUUUUUUUUUDE!!!!!!! *starts kicking at Shishio and  
stuff*  
  
Aoshi: Ohhhhhhh noooooooooo Mr. Billllllllll!!!!!!!!! *throws a spoon at  
Sanosuke*  
  
Sano: @_@ I like cookies, Billy....*falls over, unconscious*  
  
Aoshi: o.0 It was just a plastic spoon....  
  
Yumi: *still playing game boy* OH YEAH! HIGH SCORE! UH HUH! IT'S MY  
BIRTHDAY! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Megumi: *has wandered off to the psychiatrist's break room thingy. Fills a  
cup with coffee* YES!!!!!!! NOW THAT I HAVE COFFEE, WE WILL ALL BE  
AIRPLANES! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! *continues to laugh insanely while  
drinking coffee, if that's possible*  
  
Yahiko: *takes out video camera and starts filming* Jeez, why am I here,  
anyway? I don't have problems...I'm just here for blackmail.  
  
Enishi: *wearing business suit and holding up a line graph* Over the past  
five years, sales of green phones have increased by three percent. This  
means that we are all doomed. Any questions?  
  
Hiko: *next to beaten up kid* *raises hand*  
  
Enishi: Yes?  
  
Hiko: Where did the cheese wheels go?  
  
Enishi: To the zoo. Any more questions?  
  
Megumi: *comes rushing into the waiting room* DO YA WANT SOME  
COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?????????  
  
Enishi: BUS! I AM A BUS! VROOOOOOOOOOOOOM! *jumps into the wall*  
  
Everyone who is not part of the RK cast besides an old guy: *has fled*  
  
Old guy: When I was your age, I had two cows, a pig, and a goat. And look  
what it got me! NOTHING! All you have to do is sneeze, and all your dreams  
will come true. *walks away whistling*  
  
Kenshin: DIE, DAMN YOU, DIE! *tries to kill Soujiro with the chair.*  
  
Soujiro: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! THE  
CHAAAAIIIIIIIIRRRRSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs into the bathroom and locks  
the door.*  
  
Kenshin: *starts banging on the door with the chair* YOU CAN'T STAY IN  
THERE FOREVER! I'LL BREAK THIS $#%@ DOOR DOWN IF I HAVE TO!  
  
Secretary Person Thingy: Mr. Himura?  
  
Kenshin: *drops the chair and looks all innocent-like.* Yes?  
  
Secretary Person Thingy: Dr. Smith is ready for you. Follow me, please.  
*walks out of the waiting room*  
  
Kenshin: *glares at the bathroom door and whispers* I'll be back, just you  
wait... *follows the secretary person thingy.*  
  
Aoshi: *starts sucking his thumb and glancing around nervously* I don't  
like it here!!!! *cries*  
  
Misao: *pats his back* It'll be all right, Aoshi! It will all be over soon  
enough....*hums Ice Blue Eyes while she consoles Aoshi*  
  
Aoshi: *sniff* Okay...*sniff*  
  
Hiko: Skittles. Taste the rainbow.  
  
Saitou: Puppy racers! They've got a motor inside! Hot wheels leading the  
waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!!!!!!! Daisies, daisies, oh wonderful daisies!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^_^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Meanwhile, Kenshin enters the psychiatrist's office......  
  
Dr. Smith: *smiles warmly* Hello, Mr. Himura. My name is Dr. Smith. Please,  
take a seat. *indicates cushiony chair thing*  
  
Kenshin: DO YOU THINK I CARE WHO YOU ARE?!? I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED! *sobs*  
  
Dr. Smith: o.o  
  
Kenshin: I mean...um....Pleased to meet you, Dr. Smith. *shakes his hand  
and sits on cushiony chair thing*  
  
Dr. Smith: *smiles* Mr. Himura, my friend, who is a director, tells me that  
you are the star of a popular TV show that he directs.....How do you like  
your job?  
  
Kenshin: *staring at jar of candy on Dr. Smith's desk* What?  
Oh....It's...great....just...fantastic....yeah....*fights urge to grab  
candy*  
  
Dr. Smith: Does it ever get stressful?  
  
Kenshin: Um.....no....? *still staring at candy as if hypnotized*  
  
Dr. Smith: Really? Not at all?  
  
Kenshin: N-no...ARGH! CAAAAAAANNNNNNDDDDDDDYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! *lunges forward  
and grabs candy, shoving it down his throat without bothering to take off  
the wrappers.* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAA!!!! *gets crazy glint  
in eyes* NEED....MORE...SUGAR!  
SUUUUUUUGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!  
BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!  
  
Dr. Smith: O.O" Mr. Himura, please think about what you're do-  
  
Kenshin: SHUT UP! GET ME SUGAR!!!! SUUUUUUUUUUUGAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!  
GET ME MORE SUGAR, OR ELSE!!!!! *holds his sword to Smith's throat*  
  
Dr. Smith: O.O Mr. Himura! Stop this at once! Calm down and take a seat!  
  
Kenshin: *takes sword away from Smith's throat and starts smashing things  
with it, looking for sugar* I KNOW YOU HAVE MORE! GIVE IT TO ME!!!!!  
  
Dr. Smith: *dials 911*  
  
Police: *start dragging Kenshin away*  
  
Kenshin: NOOOOOOOOOOO! I'M THE MAIN CHARACTER!!!! THE MAAAAAIIIIIINNNNN  
CHARACTEEEEERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *blows up. Again.*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kenshin: *reappears in waiting room, calmly licking the same ice cream he  
had last time he blew up* Hey guys.  
  
Kaoru: THE VOI- - -Hi Kenshin! Wow! You're done already?  
  
Kenshin: ^__^ Yep! Dr. Smith is a very nice psychiatrist, that he is!  
  
TO BE CONTINUED.....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^_^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: -_- It's not funny, is it? *sigh* Whatever. Review anyway.  
Pleeeeeeeeease? 


	7. Dude, Where's His Scar?

Disclaimer: Moose.  
  
A/N: YAY REVIEWERS!  
------------------------------------------------------------  
Title Announcer Guy: Why does she pay me to tell you there's no title?  
  
Chapter Title Announcer Guy: Chapter 7: Dude, Where's His Scar?!?  
--------------------------------------------------------------  
  
So the horrible, evil, vile, disgusting, terrible, and just plain WRONG  
task of waiting is being done by the Rurouni Kenshin cast. Oh yeah, the  
psychiatrist is now scared of Kenshin, and the police force is very  
confused.  
  
Misao: Waiting...is....EVIL!!!!!! (starts tearing wallpaper off the walls  
and eating it)  
  
Sano: (wakes up from huge head injury caused by plastic spoon) I wanted a  
pony, but they said 'Nooooooo way, Sanosuke! You'll just turn it EVIL and  
take over the world and then we'll be DOOMED!' And I cried and cried and  
cried and cried and cried and cried and then they said 'Shut up, Sanosuke!  
If you don't you'll just turn us all EVIL and take over the world and then  
we'll be DOOMED!' and then I just stared at them. And I realized that these  
people were not my parents.  
  
Hiko: I do not have a drinking problem...I..have..no...problems...I am  
all...powerful.....and...all knowing....and....all  
kitty...wha?.....kangaroos are....yeah.... (falls over, a couple hundred  
empty bottles of sake next to him)  
  
Saitou: Daisy, daisy, lalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaa....  
  
Kenshin: (to secretary/receptionist)  
Sugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugars  
ugarsugarsugarsugar?  
  
Secretary/Receptionist: o.0 Okay. (walks away)  
  
Kaoru: KENSHINKENSHINKENSHIN! THE VOICES ARE BACK! WE HAVE TO GET  
AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POWER TO  
THE PAPER! (holds up THE ALL POWERFUL PAPER and runs around the office,  
screaming about voices)  
  
Megumi: Heh heh heh....coooooooffffffffeeeeeeee...heh  
heh.....yeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.....(twitching uncontrollably)  
  
Yahiko: (is slowly being sucked into DA MADNESS!!) (twitches)  
Too...much...insanity...can't....hold....on....NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  
  
Aoshi: (looks at Kenshin) Dude, where's your scar?  
  
Everyone: (stops and stares at Kenshin)  
  
Saitou: Dude, where's his scar?!?  
  
Sano: Dude, where's his scar?  
  
Hiko: Dude, where's his scar???  
  
Megumi: Dude, where's his scar?!  
  
Kaoru: Dude, where's his scar???  
  
Yahiko: Dude, where's his scar?  
  
Yumi: Dude, where's his scar?  
  
Misao: Dude, where's his scar?  
  
Soujiro: Dude, where's his scar???  
  
Shishio: Dude, where's his scar? (goes back to fighting off a huge group of  
kangaroos in Australia)  
  
Me: (pops up) DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE! WHERE'S HIS SCAR?!?! (jumps out of  
story)  
  
Enishi: (leaps out of the wall) Dude. Where is his scar? (walks back into  
the wall)  
  
Kenshin: o.o Umm....Guys, my scar's right here. (points to scar)  
  
Aoshi: Dude! I, like, can't see it! AHHHH! (starts crying)  
  
Sano: I know! It, like, DISAPPEARED!  
  
Kenshin: It's..right here....(points to scar again)  
  
Hiko: DUDE! We, like, have to do something!  
  
Kaoru: No, dude! Like, wait a second! We CAN see it! We, like, just have to  
figure out how, dude!  
  
Saitou: Maybe we should, like, get x-ray vision, dude!  
  
Kenshin: o.0 I think I'll just stay out of this....(A/N: He's sensitive  
about his scar. Baka sensitivity is blocking out sugar-addiction.)  
  
Aoshi: No, dude! We can, like, use our ~*~imagination~*~! (holds hands  
above head and brings them down slowly. A rainbow appears.)  
  
Megumi: TASTE THE RAINBOW! (grabs rainbow and takes a bite out of it)  
  
Yahiko: DUDE! You, like, ruined our only chance to, like, save Kenshin's  
scar from sure destruction!!!!!  
  
Sure Destruction: Dude! He's, like, right, dude!  
  
Kenshin: I will erode your stone statue into tiny pieces of rubble!  
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH  
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Kaoru: DUDE! YOU ATE THE RAINBOW!!!!!!!!!! (starts crying)  
  
Dude: (appears) OKAY, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?!?!  
  
Everyone: O.O  
  
Kenshin: ...Sugar?  
  
Dude: ^_^ OKIE DOKE! (gives Kenshin a bag of sugar and disappears)  
  
Hiko: DOKE rhymes with COKE!  
  
Yahiko: Why is there no plot in this chapter?  
  
Kenshin: Because the authoress left.  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Meanwhile, with the authoress....  
  
Me: ....What? Rounding decimals square root of...cheese? English terms  
description vivid verbs cookies chocolate notebook ripped paper vocabulary  
dog food???? Poem turkey? Orchestra cheeseburger?!?! ORO?!?!?!?!  
AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! (starts doing exactly what Soujiro did when he went  
nuts and hit his head on things and yelled and stuff and said Kenshin  
frustrated him)  
  
Yami T: Er....She's having a little bit of trouble with her homework.....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Yahiko: -_-;; Oh.  
  
Scary Music: (plays for no apparent reason) DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!!!!!!  
  
Megumi: OH NO! SCARY MUSIC!  
  
Misao: WE'RE DOOOOOOOOOOOMED GRAPE FRUIT!  
  
Aoshi: Grape juice! Juicy fruit! THINGS!  
  
Saitou: Da da da da daaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! Launch the rocket, Edward! CLEAR  
SKIES!  
  
Sano: Oh look attack mosquito jeez we're dying no we're not GAZEBO  
FRUITCAKE!  
  
Kaoru: THE VOICES! WE'RE...green...I like....what is...lamps.....secret  
identity....broccoli....canned....panda  
bear.....guards....concrete....sing.....hahaaaaa....(faints from lack  
of...something...)  
  
Soujiro: I haven't been talking for a long time! HAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!  
Authoress! COME BACK! PLEASE!  
  
Yahiko: YEAH! WE'RE DYING!!!!!!!!  
  
Kenshin, Sano, Hiko, Saitou, Aoshi, and Misao: We are?  
  
Yahiko: Yes! Go tell the authoress!  
  
Kenshin: Okay! HEEEELLLLLLLLLLPPPPPP USSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! WE'RE  
DYYYYYYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Misao: DYING! WE'RE DYING! COME BACK!  
  
Sano: CAKE! YUM! (starts eating cake) Umm..I mean...SAVE ME! I'M DYING!  
  
Hiko: EAGLES! HAHAHAHAHAAAAA DYING COME BACK EAGLES HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!  
BAGLE!!!!!!!  
  
Saitou: Come back. We're dying.  
  
Aoshi: ROCKET SHIP! WHEEEEEEEE! (runs around, waving his arms and making  
rocket ship noises)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~  
Me: (comes back) NOOOOOOOO! KENSHIN CAN NOT DIE!!!!!!!!!!! (starts giving  
the story a plot)  
  
Yami T: You do know they're all lying?  
  
Me: KENSHIN CAN'T LIE! Literally. He has a shock-collar that shocks him  
when he lies.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kenshin: Hey! I'm not getting shocked! WE ARE DYING! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Authoress: I HAVE RETURNED! BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! Ahem.  
  
Everyone: The End.  
  
Authoress: Wait! I just got back!  
  
Everyone: THE. END.  
  
Authoress: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, at least I can  
do the next chapter.  
  
Kenshin: No you can't! I want to do it! ME DO! (points to self)  
  
Authoress: NO! ME DO! (points to self)  
  
Kenshin: NO, ME!  
  
Authoress: NO!!!! MY STORY! MY CHAPTERS!! ME! DO! (uses magical keyboard  
to...sedate Kenshin.)  
  
Kenshin: (has blank look on face) Pretty....colors....la la la....  
  
TO BE CONTINUED........  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
A/N: BAKA SCHOOL! BAKA HOMEWORK! BAKA EVERYTHING! About the taste the  
rainbow thing-----Kohana, aka Egyptian Lobster Guy did that after I did the  
~*~imagination~*~ thing, so I have to give her credit for that idea. Also,  
PLEASE R&R HER STORY, YAHIKO'S MISSING! (see story ID in chapter six)  
  
I am going to burn down Wal Mart! Just because I can! It'll let me let out  
some pent up frustration! Anyone want to join me? I hate Wal Mart! They  
have too much stuff, and they don't have enough stuff! Hair dryers! PURPLE!  
BOO!  
  
Who the heck thought that saying 'boo' would scare people?!? How stupid do  
you have to be to think that? Why does everyone say ghosts say 'boo!'?!?!  
Why wouldn't they say 'googleplex!' or 'toothpick!'??? WHY DON'T YOU  
KNOW?!?! HUH? TELL ME! OR I'LL KILL YOU! ARRRRGGHHH!!!!!!!!  
  
This chapter stinks! So did the last one! THEY ALL STINK!  
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (No, Aharah Musici, I'm not putting myself down. I'm  
just yelling at practically everything that moves for no apparent reason.)  
  
You know what? School is sucking all the funny out of me! WHY?!?! IT'S  
EVIL, I TELL YOU!!!! We have to stop this! You know why? BECAUSE! THAT'S  
WHY! APPLE CIDER BROWNIES DON'T TASTE GOOD WITH RELISH! GOT IT? GOOD! DAMN  
THOSE COLORED PENCILS! ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
....Yeah. Review. Now. Or else.  
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\/ Revieeewwww! 


	8. Canned Beans are Good for the SOUL!

Disclaimer: Okay, I admit it, there is no such thing as counterfeit  
chickenrats. It was all a plot to take over the government. Okay? Okay.  
  
A/N: Sorry about the late update....And if you haven't noticed, most of my  
other stories are...dead..for now. If enough of you REALLY like them, I'll  
keep them going, but I've really started more than I can finish right now.  
Cooking With Bakura and Two Wanderers will remain one-shots...The Story  
That Has No Title will be updated occasionally...But at this time, this fic  
and Golden Eyes will be my main projects.  
  
Please please please please pleeeeeeeaaaaaasssssssse read ELG's story,  
Yahiko's Missing. (See chapter six for story id.)  
  
Ah, yes...I almost forgot....I'm too lazy to figure out who the fiftieth  
reviewer is, so whoever you are, congratulations! You won absolutely  
nothing! Well, okay, you can have this..*holds up a dirty, moldy, flea  
infested sock, complete with numerous holes.* But you have to take good  
care of it. IT IS SACRED!  
Sock: *starts glowing eerily*  
o.0 AH! IT'S...GLOWING EERILY! *throws sock out window* 'Kay. Guess you  
can't have it.  
_________________________________________  
  
Yes, the cast is STILL waiting...and waiting...and waiting...and  
waiting...So..yeah. They're waiting.  
  
Aoshi: LOOK! I DISCOVERED SOMETHING!  
  
Everyone: What is it?  
  
Aoshi: *holds up hand* I have FIVE fingers on EACH hand!!! See?! *starts  
counting* One, two, three, four, five! *gazes at his fingers in amazement*  
  
Misao: AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGG!!!!!!!!! *resumes  
chewing the wallpaper*  
  
Kenshin: Italian food tastes good with mashed up screwdrivers, that it  
does.  
  
Sano: OR DOES IT?  
  
Kenshin: DUN DUN DUNNNN!  
  
Kaoru: You know what?  
  
Kenshin: What?  
  
Kaoru: Nooooooooooooboooooooooody knoooooooooooooows.  
  
Sano: OR DO THEY?!?  
  
Kenshin DUN DUN DUNNN!!!!!  
  
Megumi: Cooooooooooffffeeeeeee.....I saved an orphan foal!  
  
Yahiko: It's a TRUE STORY!  
  
Sano: OR IS IT?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Kenshin: DUN DUN DUNNNNN!!!!!  
  
Yahiko: It is.  
  
Saitou: Really?  
  
Yahiko: Yup.  
  
Saitou: Why?  
Megumi: Because he was a preeeeettttttyyyyyy foal!  
  
Aoshi: What color?  
  
Megumi: *smiles dementedly* The color of COFFEE!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Come  
here, Cappuccino!  
  
Cappuccino: *the bay yearling walks calmly into the waiting room, a piece  
of hay sticking out of his mouth.* *blinks at them. Looks cute.*  
  
Everyone: *stares at him.* *awkward silence.*  
  
Kenshin: *whispers* Everybody, go 'awwww'.  
  
Everyone: *nods* Awwwwwwwww! ^_^  
  
Hiko: *suddenly leaps up and starts yelling at a cloud* YOU! YOU HAVE  
STOLEN THE GREAT CRIMSON SWORD OF THE GARBLOTOTRAVORIX! *leaps out the  
window* I'LL GET YOU!!!!! STOP LAUGHING AT ME!!!! *runs off into the  
distance*  
  
Soujiro: *talking to a table* But Francis! Your name is Joe! What is the  
capital of North Carolina?! How am I supposed to know that?!?! I live in  
JAPAN, damn it! What? I don't need a cell phone! I have a cell phone! No,  
it doesn't have pictures of turtles all over it..No, no, it's blue, not  
gray. What do you mean you're Santa Claus? That doesn't make sense! You're  
stupid! Shut up! No, you! No, you! YOU SHUT UP! *starts strangling the  
table..if that's possible*  
  
Kenshin: *twitches* Evil...broke  
my...sword...must..kill...need...chair...*grabs a chair and starts towards  
Soujiro*  
  
Cappuccino: *blinks, confused, and walks away*  
  
Megumi: NOOOOOOOOOO! CAPPUCCINO!!!!!! I NEED YOU TO SURVIIIIVE!!!!!!!!!!  
*runs out of the room, still clutching a cup of coffee*  
  
Aoshi: *muttering to himself* I am NOT a penguin, no matter how hard they  
try to pretend I am!  
  
Misao: Of course you're not...o.0  
  
Aoshi: *looks scared* Who told you that?!  
  
Misao: O.o Told me what?  
  
Aoshi: NOW YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO CONFUSE ME! *starts crying*  
  
Secretary Person Thinger: Mr. Aoshi Shinomori? Please follow me; Dr. Smith  
is waiting in the back room.  
  
Aoshi: ^__^ All right! *follows her into the room, humming happily*  
  
Dr. Smith: *smiles pleasantly* Hello there. Please take a seat. My name is  
Dr. Smith...You're Mr. Shinomori, right?  
  
Aoshi: WHO TOLD YOU THAT?!?! *points at a picture of Smith's wife.* WAS IT  
HER?!? *points at another photo. Starts pointing at various photos and the  
secretary peoples* OR MAYBE HIM?! OR HER? OR THIS GUY?!? HUH? OR MAYBE IT  
WAS HIM! *points to himself*  
  
Dr. Smith: Actually..your director filled out a form for you with your name  
on it....But that isn't important. Now, let's not stray from the main  
topic. Why do you think you are here?  
  
Aoshi: *shrugs* I dunno.  
  
Dr. Smith: Think. There must be something you can think of.  
Aoshi: *stares at him.*  
  
SEVERAL HOURS LATER  
  
Aoshi: *blinks.*  
  
ONE DAY LATER  
  
Aoshi: OKAY, FINE! I HAVE PROBLEMS! BUT IT'S NONE OF YOUR *#$% BUSINESS!  
*sobs*  
  
Dr. Smith: Calm down, sir...Now, what was your childhood like?  
  
Aoshi: I was raised by a family of cross-dressing polar bears in the  
Bahamas because my real family joined the circus and never came back.  
  
Dr. Smith: That's...er....interesting, Mr. Shinomori....  
  
Aoshi: I JUST WANT TO GO TO DISNEY WORLD!!!!!! *starts crying*  
  
Sanosuke: *pops up* What about Six Flags?!  
  
Aoshi: THAT TOO!!!!! *sobs*  
  
Yumi: *falls from the ceiling* GUESS WHAT?!?  
  
Aoshi and Sanosuke: WHAT?!?!  
  
Yumi: I PUT BOMBS IN THIS PLACE! AND IT'S GONNA BLOW UP! NOW!  
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!  
  
Aoshi: YAY! *stops crying abruptly and runs out of the room*  
  
Sano: BLOW IT UP! BLOW IT UP! *follows*  
  
Yumi: I need to organize my statues of famous toothpicks!!!! *disappears.  
Poof.*  
  
*Sanosuke and Aoshi rush into the room that Kenshin and everybody are  
waiting in.*  
  
Everyone: *stops and stares at them*  
  
Sano: WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!  
  
Aoshi: IT'S GONNA GO BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sano: Or is- - -  
  
Everyone: SHADDAP!!!!  
  
Saitou: Well, the state flower of Noah's Ark is actually a MOOSE!  
  
Everyone: *blinks at him*  
  
Saitou: What? It's TRUE!  
  
Yahiko: But is it a TRUE STORY?  
  
Saitou: SUNSHINEY DAYS! *throws a rock at Yahiko and runs out of the room*  
  
Kaoru: I have hair..HAIR!!!!!! *does a back flip.*  
  
Kenshin: I can do that! *does a back flip*  
  
Yahiko: Meeeeee tooooooooooo! *turns into a caterpillar and crawls away.*  
  
Misao: Spooooooooooooonss aaaaarrrrrrreeee shiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnyyyyy!!!!!  
DAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGOOOOOOORRRRRRLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOXXXDROOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  
!!!!!  
  
Kenshin: Dargorloxdro? I saw that guy on the cereal box!  
  
Sano: So did I!  
  
Aoshi: ME TOO!  
  
Misao: I DID, TOO!  
  
Soujiro: And me!  
  
Sano: WOW! We ALL saw the SAME THING!  
  
All: *stand there, wondering how such an amazing thing could happen.*  
  
Kenshin: Sano....? Isn't this place supposed to blow up?  
  
Misao: It already did!  
  
Psychiatrist Building: *has exploded without any noise or anything. is  
nothing more than a pile of rubble.*  
  
Kenshin: Oh.  
  
Aoshi: CANNED BEANS ARE GOOD FOR THE SOOOOOOOOOUUUUUL! *sits down on the  
sidewalk and stares into space.*  
  
Kenshin, Sano, Misao, and Soujiro: *sit down next to him and stare into  
space.*  
  
TO BE CONTINUED......  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	9. Have a Very Piratey Christmas!

Disclaimer: Burning things is good for the soooooooooouuuuuuuul.  
  
A/N: I'm so glad you all like this pointless, plotless fic! Thanks for the  
reviews! ^__________^ They make me feel so special ecial ecial!!!!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Chapter Title Announcer Guy: Chapter 9: Have a Very Pirate-y Christmas!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
So, eventually everyone made their way back to the studio. Even  
Shishio. And Yahiko became human again because of a magical ritual  
performed by the jungle gym at the local school's playground. All was well.  
But boring. Really, really boring.  
  
Everyone: *sitting in the coffee break room thinger. Are bored. Really,  
really bored.* ....  
  
Kenshin: *suddenly leaps up* It's CHRISTMAS! ^______^  
  
Sano: No it isn't.  
  
Kenshin: o.o Oh. *sits back down and stares at the ground*  
  
Everyone else: ....  
  
Kenshin: .....  
  
Everyone else: .....  
  
Kenshin: ......  
  
Everyone else: .....  
  
*fifteen minutes pass*  
  
Kenshin: *leaps up again* NOW IT IS! LET'S GET PRESENTS! *crashes through  
the wall*  
  
Kaoru: *twitch* VOICES *twitch* Okay, let's go! *crashes through another  
spot in the wall*  
  
Sano: PREEEEEESSSSSSEEEEENNNNNNTTTTTTTSSSSSS!!!!!!! *crashes through a  
different wall, followed by Yahiko*  
  
Aoshi: JUST BECAUSE I NEVER GOT PRESENTS ON CHRISTMAS DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE  
TO RUB IT IN!!! THE POLAR BEARS COULDN'T AFFORD IT, OKAY?!? *starts crying  
again*  
  
Misao: DON'T WORRY, AOSHI-SAMA! I WILL GET YOU THE BESTESTEST PRESENT IN  
THE WOOOOOOOORRRRLLLLLDDDD!!!!!!!! *crashes through another wall*  
  
Aoshi: YAY! NOW I MUST RETURN THE FAVOR! Because I am HONORABLE!!!!! *leaps  
out the window and runs away*  
  
Soujiro: YESSSSS!!!! THE CHAIR-DEMON HAS LEFT! *gets some stale sugar free  
cookies from the cabinet and munches them calmly* ^___^  
  
Saitou: NO! YOU CANNOT EAT AT A TIME LIKE THIS!  
  
Hiko: HE'S RIGHT! WE MUST GET SAKEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! And presents.  
  
Soujiro: Why?  
  
Saitou: IT'S CHRISTMAS! AHOU! MUST GO BUY SELF PRESENTS! *crashes through  
another spot in the wall*  
  
Megumi: TELL THE PEOPLE! *crashes through the ceiling and flies away to get  
presents*  
  
Hiko: SAKEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! *crashes through the closed window.*  
  
Soujiro: But I thought it was Halloween! Oh well! I guess I'll go get  
presents for everyone! Except the chair-demon. Wanna come, Shishio-sama?  
  
Shishio: I can't!  
  
Soujiro: Why not?  
  
Shishio: I don't believe in Christmas! I'm IRISH! *Irish-sounding laughter*  
  
Yumi: *glances at them, turning the Game Boy off.* Irish people can still  
believe in Christmas. In fact, a lot of Irish people celebrate Christmas,  
Shishio-sama.  
  
Shishio: But it's not Christmas! IT'S SAINT PATRICK'S DAY! *snaps his  
fingers. His bandages and gloves turn green, and he is suddenly wearing a  
green leprechaun hat with a shamrock sticking out of it.*  
IRIIIIIIIIIIIIISH! *starts river dancing.*  
  
Soujiro: O.o I think I'll just leave now. *actually OPENS the DOOR and  
walks out of the room*  
  
Yumi: Well, I guess I'll go wander the streets aimlessly! *goes through one  
of the holes made by the other peoples in the wall and wanders the streets  
aimlessly.*  
  
*Three days pass, and no one has returned from their Christmas shopping.  
Shishio hasn't stopped river dancing. Yumi is still wandering the streets  
aimlessly. And the director is waiting (im)patiently for them all to  
return.*  
  
Director: WHERE ARE THOSE IDIOTS?!?!  
  
Shishio: Don't ask me! I'm IRISH!  
  
Everyone: *suddenly appears, all holding presents*  
  
Kenshin: WE GOT PREEEEEESSSSEEEENNNNTTTSSS!!!!!!  
  
Director: -_- I can see that.  
  
Sano: Or can you?  
  
Kenshin: DUN DUN DUNNNN!!!!  
  
All: *start attacking the presents.*  
  
Presents: *are all empty shoe boxes covered with wrapping paper.*  
  
Aoshi: THANK YOU MISAO! THIS PRESENT IS THE BESTESTEST PRESENT EVER!!!!!  
  
Misao: THANK YOU!!!! SO IS YOURS, AOSHI-SAMA!!!!!!  
  
Both: YAAAAAAY! *hug each other*  
  
Everyone: Awwwwwwww!!!!!! ^____^  
  
Misao and Aoshi: o.o *blink at each other and back away slowly, then go  
back to opening presents*  
  
Kenshin: CHRISTMAS IS COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!  
  
Saitou: Dance to the music!  
  
Hiko: What music?  
  
Saitou: ...  
  
Hiko: o.0  
  
Saitou: ....nevermind.... *walks away*  
  
Sano: WAIT! I just realized something!  
  
All: What?  
  
Sano: We're PIRATES!  
  
Kenshin: No we're---  
  
*Everyone is suddenly on a boat in the middle of the ocean.*  
  
Kenshin: O.O  
  
Kaoru: o.0 *pokes Kenshin*  
  
Kenshin: O.O  
  
Kaoru: Kenshin...? *pokes him again*  
  
Kenshin: O.O  
  
Sano: What's wrong with him?  
  
Hiko: Maybe he needs sakeeeeeeeee....NOOOOOOO!!!!! MY SAKE!!!!  
SAKKKEEEEEEEE!!!!!! *hides his sake*  
  
Kenshin: O.O  
  
Saitou: 0.o *pokes him*  
  
Misao: KENSHIN! KENSHIN! WAKE UP, KENSHIN! WAKE UP! KENSHIN! *is bouncing  
up and down*  
  
Aoshi: *is crying* OH KENSHIN, WHAT FATE HAS BEFALLEN YOU?!? STAY AWAY FROM  
THE LIGHT! *starts whimpering*  
He'sgonnadiehe'sgonnadiehe'sgonnadiehe'sgonnadiiiiiiiiiiiie! *sobs*  
  
Yumi and Shishio: *wander off somewhere below deck and start discussing  
politics.*  
  
Kenshin: O.O  
  
Megumi: MOVE ASIDE, PEOPLE! I'M A DOCTOR! *starts taking Kenshin's pulse*  
HE LIVES! HE LIIIIIIIIIIVES! But he has a severe case of NOTHING!  
MWAHAHAHAHAHA! COFFEEEEEEEEEE! *jumps off the boat and swims off to live  
with dolphins.*  
  
Everyone (besides Kenshin): O.o  
  
Kenshin: *stands up, brushes himself off, and walks into the kitchen on the  
boat to get sugar.*  
  
Aoshi: *stops crying abruptly and sits down, humming to himself* ^___^  
  
Kaoru: OMG! KENSHIN'S DISAPPEARED!  
  
Sanosuke: No he hasn't. He just went to the k---  
  
Kaoru: YES HE DID! WITHOUT HIM WE'LL ALL DIE!  
  
Kenshin: *comes out of the kitchen, licking a lollipop* Hi. ^__^  
  
Kaoru: KENSHIN! YOU'RE ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!!!!!!!!! *hugs him*  
  
Kenshin: O.O CAN'T.....BREATHE...  
  
Hiko: I CAN'T, EITHER! IT'S A DISEEEEEEEAAAAASSSSEE!!!!!! DIE, DISEASE!  
*starts swinging his sword at thin air*  
  
Kaoru: *lets go of Kenshin and holds THE ALL POWERFUL PAPER above her  
head.* Clearly, the ALL POWERFUL PAPER has returned our dear Kenshin to us!  
THE GODS ARE PLEASED WITH US! AND WE'RE ALL TERRIBLE SINNERS! YIPPEE!  
  
Saitou: Kami-sama, don't listen to her. She's crazy.  
  
Kami-sama: *appears* Reeeeeeally?  
  
Saitou: Yup.  
  
Kami-sama: Reeeeally reeeeeeally?  
  
Saitou: *nods*  
  
Kami-sama: Okay, then. *disappears*  
  
Soujiro: I have not spoken! DIALOGUE! YEEEEEEEHAAAAAWWW! *suddenly is  
wearing a cowboy outfit*  
  
Yahiko: IDIOT! We're pirates, not cowboys!  
  
Misao: *looks confused. Is wearing a space suit.* I thought we were  
astronauts!  
  
Yahiko: We're PIRATES! Why else would we be in the middle of an ocean on a  
pirate ship?  
  
Soujiro: Well, we could be cowboys! But on a pirate ship!  
  
Misao: Yeah! Astronauts ride pirate ships! ..Don't they? *looks confused  
again*  
  
Aoshi: *wearing a hula skirt over his trench coat, a motorcycle helmet on  
his head, bowling shoes, and strumming a guitar.* Hooooome, hoooome on the  
raaange!  
  
Soujiro: I TOLD YOU WE WERE COWBOYS! *gets a guitar out of no where and  
starts playing along with Aoshi.*  
  
Yahiko: Ar, mateys! We be pirates!  
  
Misao: I WANNA BE AN ASTRONAUT!  
  
Yahiko: NO YOU DON'T!  
  
Misao: YES I DOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! *attacks Yahiko*  
  
Yahiko: AHHHHHHH! IT BUUUUUURRRNNNNNSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!  
  
Megumi: *swims up with a group of dolphins* COFFEEEEEE!!!!  
TEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE! *swims away*  
  
Kenshin: O.o Orororororo....  
  
Hiko: *still slashing at the air with his sword* DIE, DISEASE! YOU WILL  
NEVER GET MY SAKEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!  
  
Saitou: Be responsible! Wear a helmet!  
  
Sanosuke: But.....I don't have a helmet! *starts crying*  
  
Saitou: I DON'T CARE! WEAR IT, AHOU!  
  
Kaoru: Sometimes phones are blue, sometimes they're green. Nobody knows  
why, and nobody cares. That's just the way it is.  
  
Misao: I WIN!  
  
Yahiko: *is dead*  
  
Kenshin: NO! NO ONE CAN BE KILLEDED! *revives Yahiko*  
  
Yahiko: Thanks, Kenshin! ^__^ *starts to walk towards the kitchen thinger.  
Trips. Dies.*  
  
Kenshin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *revives Yahiko again.*  
  
Yahiko: Thanks again! *falls off the boat. Is devoured by sharks.*  
  
Kenshin: -_- What an ahou. *revives Yahiko again.*  
  
Yahiko: *starts to get up and walk away* Arigatou, Kensh---  
  
Kenshin: *puts duck tape over his mouth and chains him to the ground.*  
STAY! *walks away*  
  
Yahiko: O.O Mrrmmrmmrrrmm!!!!!!  
  
Kaoru: What?  
  
Yahiko: Mrrrmrrrrmrrrrrmmm!!!!!!  
  
Kaoru: Okay! *throws pickled eggs at him.* ^_^ There ya go! *walks away*  
  
Yahiko: -_- Mrrmm.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED......  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^____^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
YAAAAAAY! What will happen next? Why are they on a pirate ship? Are they  
pirates? Or are they cowboys? Or maybe astronauts? I DON'T KNOW! DON'T ASK  
ME HARD QUESTIONS! R&R, please! Pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaassssseee! Your reviews  
pay for candy! Well, not really. BUT WHO CARES?!?  
REVIIIIIIIEEEEEWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	10. THE WORLD IS TRIANGULAR!

Disclaimer: Halloweeeeeeeen is comiiiiiiinnnnnggggg!!!!!! TEHEHEHEHEHEHE!  
  
A/N: Helloooooooo kitty! I mean....minna-san! Unless, of course, you all  
ARE kitties, then I meant what I said. OR DID I?!!?! *cheesy dramatic music  
plays*  
Ahem. Yes...weeeeeelllllllllll....What am I doing again?  
  
Shinta (yes, he's mine, ALL MIIIIIINE *insane laughter*): -_- *whacks her*  
Writing your fanfic, baka!  
  
Itai! Hmmm....Yes! Yes, I remember, now! IT'S ALL BECOMING CLEAR TO ME!  
The light that was once dim is becoming brighter, and brighter, and----  
AHHHHH!!! TOOOOOOO BRIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone (besides Kenshin, he's too nice): *rolls their eyes* Ahou.  
  
Kenshin: -_-;; Oro.  
  
*slams head into wall to 'dim the evil light'* Yesss...Much better. Ahem.  
This chapter is in honor of Columbus Day! Well, it's not really honoring  
it, so to speak, but STILL! STIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah.  
Onward.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^_^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chapter Title Announcer Person: Chapter Ten: THE WORLD IS TRIANGULAR!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^_^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Narrator: When we last left our...idiots..they were traveling on a pirate  
ship to no particular destination! And you already knew that! DO I HAVE NO  
PURPOSE?! (starts crying)  
  
Kaoru: (is sitting with Misao in the coffee break room thingy that seems to  
be following them wherever they go) (gets strange look on face)  
The...Voice..It's...upset...And It called us idiots....WE'RE HEROES!  
HEROOOOOOOEEEEESSSS!!!!!!  
  
Misao: What about HEROINES?! HUH?  
  
Kaoru: YEAH! It never said 'heroines', therefore It must be EVIL, therefore  
It must be DESTROOOOOYYYYYYEEEEEDDDD!!!!!!!!  
  
Misao: But the only thing that can stop It is cheese from the MOON! (points  
in the general direction of the moon.)  
  
Kaoru: WE MUST GO TO THE MOON! (also points in the general direction of the  
moon)  
  
Misao: I always knew we were astronauts! ^_^  
  
Kaoru: I didn't! I thought we were farmers from Russia with purple cows  
named Wilma and Mary who could spin straw into gold and were really named  
Rumpled Stilt's Skin and Ugly Jane!  
  
Misao: Whatever!  
  
Both: (run off to find astronaut outfit for Kaoru.)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^_^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kenshin: (is sitting down in the middle of the deck on the boat with Saitou  
and Sano, doing absolutely nothing.)  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH  
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH  
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Sanosuke: ....  
  
Saitou: ....  
  
Kenshin: Well?  
  
Sano: What?  
  
Kenshin: Don't you want to know why I'm laughing?  
  
Saitou & Sano: No.  
  
Kenshin: (bursts into tears) I HATE YOU PEOPLE! I'M ALWAYS NICE TO YOU, I  
NEVER YELL, I DO THE LAUNDRY, I COOK, I FIGHT EVIL PEOPLE TRYING TO HURT MY  
FRIENDS/TAKE OVER JAPAN AND ALWAYS WIN, AND I RESTRAIN THE HITOKIRI WITHIN!  
AND ALL YOU DO IS MOCK ME! JERKS! (runs into the cabin and slams the door.  
The sound of a sword destroying daisies and a plastic toy fire engine can  
be heard.)  
  
Saitou: O.O (eyes get huuuuge. Falls over, fainting from the shock of his  
precious daisies being 'killed'.)  
  
Sanosuke: O.O GASP! My...my little plastic toy fire engine! Noooo! No...I  
feel each wound...as if it were my own....NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! FIRE ENGINE  
JOE! I LOVEDED YOUUUUU!!!!!! (breaks down, sobbing uncontrollably)  
  
Kenshin: (is swinging his sword wildly) BWAHAHAHAHAHA! TAKE THAT! AND THIS!  
AND THAT! AND HOW ABOUT...THIS! AMAKAKERU, RYU NO HIROMEKI!!!!!! (destroys  
the cabin.) My work here is done. (sheathes his sword and walks away  
calmly, whistling a happy tune.)  
  
Yahiko: MRRRMMMMRRRRRMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Aoshi: (has finally stopped playing his guitar) What?  
  
Yahiko: MRRRRMMRRRMMMM!!!!!  
  
Aoshi: Ohhhh...Okay. *lets Yahiko out of his chains*  
  
Soujiro: Wow! You understand foreign languages?!  
  
Aoshi: Are you trying to imply that I'm a coward?!?!  
  
Soujiro: 0.0 What?! No, of course not!  
  
Aoshi: Now you're saying my hair is weird?!?! PREPARE TO DIE! (gets out  
kodachi) Now you will face the cool attack thingy that I do! (starts to  
attack. Suddenly stops and looks down at one of his swords.) What? But why?  
  
Kodachi: ....  
  
Aoshi: I know, but still----  
  
Kodachi: ...... , ....! ..... .... ..?!  
  
Aoshi: No! Of course not, I wouldn't ever want to do that!  
  
Kodachi: ....! ..... ... .....!  
  
Aoshi: (sighs heavily) I guess you're right. (puts swords away and walks  
away sadly.)  
  
Yahiko: ...What just happened...?  
  
Soujiro: I dunno, but I'm not dead! ^_^  
  
Yahiko: Okay! ^_^  
  
Hiko: (suddenly pops up next to them) HELLO! SAKE! ^______________________^  
  
Yahiko: GAHH! (jumps in surprise)  
  
Soujiro: AH! Could you please try not to do that?  
  
Yahiko: Yeah!  
  
Hiko: NO! TEHEHEHEHE! (starts spinning in circles) SAKEEEE!!!  
  
Yahiko: Round and round and round he goes...  
  
Soujiro: ....Where he stops, nobody knows...  
  
Hiko: (suddenly stops spinning and points at something in the distance)  
LOOK! IT'S CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS! SAKE!  
  
Sanosuke: (crashes through a barrel) HE'S COME TO STEAL OUR SOULS!!!!!!  
AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hiko: YESSSSS!!!!! HE HAS COME TO STEAL OUR SOOOOOUUUUULLLLSSS!!!!!!! SAKE!  
  
Yahiko: Oookaaaay....Has anyone noticed that Hiko's saying 'sake' after  
every sentence?  
  
Soujiro: WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO NOTICE THINGS! WE MUST BE PREPARED TO DEFEND  
OUR PIRATE SHIP FROM CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS! ...Who's Christopher Columbus?  
  
Kenshin: (suddenly pops up next to them) I KNOWWW!!!!! PICK MEEEEE!!!!!!  
(waves his hand frantically in the air)  
  
Sano: (glares at Kenshin) Don't pick him! He DESTROYED Fire Engine Joe!  
  
Kenshin: IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT!  
  
Sano: *MY* FAULT?!?!  
  
Kenshin:  
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sano: Oh. Okay, then....  
  
Soujiro: WHO'S CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS????????  
  
Kenshin: Welllllllll....He's a person. With....hair. And he eats things,  
and drinks things, and sleeps.  
  
Yahiko: (sarcastic) Wow, *real* descriptive, Kenshin.  
  
Kenshin: ^_^ I got an A+ on my descriptive essay!  
  
Sano: What did you describe?  
  
Kenshin: Descriptive essays that describe descriptive essays!  
  
Sano: -_-;; Oh.  
  
Soujiro: WHATEVER! IMPENDING DOOM! CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS IS  
COMIIIIINNNNNGGGG!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hiko: GASP! EVERYONE, GET READY FOR BATTLE! SAKE!  
  
Saitou and Aoshi: (materialize)  
  
Everyone: (gets ready for battle.)  
  
Christopher Columbus: (sails forward on the Santa Maria or whatever ship  
he's on) Hello! (smiles and waves)  
  
Soujiro: (whispering) Kenshin, you're right! He really does have hair!  
  
Sano: (also whispering) Or does he?  
  
Kenshin: (whispering) Dun dun dunnnn....  
  
Yahiko: -_- (whispering..They're all whispering, okay?) Let's find out what  
he wants.  
  
Hiko: Why? sake.  
  
Aoshi: Because my teeth are not as shiny as Santa Claus's teeth! (A/N:  
Guess what?! It is actually grammatically correct to put Claus's instead of  
Claus'! In fact, it is INcorrect to put Claus'! We all know that, ne?  
'Cause last time someone kept telling me it was wrong and it got really  
annoying! Yeah. Back to the fanfic.)  
  
Everyone: That makes perfect sense! ^__^  
  
Soujiro: (not whispering) YOU! WHO ARE YOUUUUU AND WHAT DO YOUUUU  
WAAAAANNNNNTTTT?!?!?!  
  
Christopher Columbus: I am Christopher Columbus. The world is round.  
  
World: o.0 Huh? (is flat)  
  
Columbus: AHEM. (glares at World) I SAID, I am Christopher Columbus. The  
world is round.  
  
World: Umm.....Okay! (is round)  
  
Kenshin: No it isn't! It's TRIANGULAR!  
  
World: (looks at Kenshin, confused) Ummm..Okay? (is triangular)  
  
Kenshin: SEEEEEE!!!!!! TRIANGULAAAAAAAAAAAARRR!!!!!!!  
  
Columbus: No, it's round!  
  
World: (is round)  
  
Kenshin: TRIANGULAR!  
  
World: (is triangular)  
  
Columbus: ROUND!  
  
World: (round)  
  
Kenshin: TRIANGULAR!  
  
World: (triangular)  
  
- - - - -Suddenly, a giant rocket ship blasts off from the pirate ship.- -  
- - - -  
  
Misao: TO THE MOON! (points in the general direction of the moon)  
  
Kaoru: YESSSS!!!! THE MOOOOOOONNNNN!!!!! (also points in the general  
direction of the moon.)  
  
Both: TEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEEEE!!!!!! (fly up towards the moon in their  
rocket ship)  
  
Everyone: O.O"  
  
Megumi: (swims up with a pod of dolphins) Milk got¿?¿  
  
TO BE CONTINUED......  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^_^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: This is..nine pages on Microsoft Word! COOL!  
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!! Thanks to all the  
reviewers....I am eternally in your debt! *bows*  
Please please please pleeeeeaaaaasssseee review, people....Your reviews  
keep me aliiiiivvveee....Please, feel free to give me any suggestions,  
comments, and flames. I don't mind flames at all. I thrive on reviews!  
They're food for the SOUL! Just thirty seconds of your time is all I'm  
asking, people...and kitties...So click away! Clicky click click! DO IT! DO  
IT NOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!! *holds up flame thrower threateningly* 


	11. The Evil Plot of the Pink Bunnies! Part ...

Disclaimer: WHERE'S WALDOOOOOO?!?!  
  
A/N: Thanks again for reviewing, reviewer peopleses. Wow! Already 119  
reviews! I love you guys! Thanks so much! ^_~  
  
And sorry about the delay, but I had SEVEEEERE writer's block for a looong  
time. (plus I was 'banned' from the computer for a week) Please don't kill  
sessha. *dodges several flaming tomatoes.* *sweatdrops*  
  
~~~~~^_^~~~~~^_^~~~~~^_^~~~~~^_^~~~~~^_^~~~~~^_^~~~~~^_^~~~~~  
Chapter Announcer Guy: Chapter Eleven: The Evil Plot of the Pink Bunnies!  
Part One  
~~~~~^_^~~~~~^_^~~~~~^_^~~~~~^_^~~~~~^_^~~~~~^_^~~~~~^_^~~~~~  
  
Megumi: HEY! I SAID 'Milk got¿'!  
  
Everyone: o.o  
  
Kenshin: Um....Yes...?  
  
Megumi: Really? Then I must become a land dweller again! (looks at group of  
dolphins.) I'm so sorry, Po Po, Jo Jo, Mo Mo, Bo Bo, To To, Go Go, Ko Ko,  
Co Co, Do Do, Ho Ho, No No, Quo Quo, Ro Ro, So So, and Zo Zo. But I must  
leave you all. I'll never forget you! (sobs and hugs the dolphins)  
  
Po Po, Jo Jo, Mo Mo, Bo Bo...and the rest: :-( (blow up)  
  
Everyone: O.O  
  
Megumi: OOOOOOOOH NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! (climbs calmly onto the boat and  
sits in the corner, sucking her thumb and rocking back and forth.)  
Coffee....must...have coffee...(twitches)  
  
Christopher Columbus: Well, anyway, the world is---  
  
Hiko: YOU KILLED MY FAIRY GODMOTHER! (unsheathes sword. Is suddenly going  
in slow motion.) AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! (slices Christopher  
Columbus's head off.)  
  
Everyone: O.O"  
  
Kenshin: *takes a deep breath*  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR  
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR  
RRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hiko: SAKE! (runs off)  
  
Kenshin: O.O (sits on the floor, curled up in a little ball, twitching  
uncontrollably)  
  
Sano: Kenshin? You all right?  
  
Kenshin: (suddenly sits up) (shrugs) Eh, I never liked that guy anyway. ^_^  
(gets a Hershey bar out of nowhere and starts munching it happily)  
  
Sano: Okay. ^_^  
  
Yahiko: You say that a lot.  
  
Sano: Wha---What?! I DO?! I MUST BE PUNISHEDDDD!!!!!  
  
Saitou: YES! I WILL PUNISH YOU! (holds his sword at Sano's throat.) BY THE  
POWER OF THE DAISIES, I SHALL---- Oh! Look, a bunny! (stares at a bunny on  
the shore) (puts away his sword and starts walking towards the bunny)  
Aoshi: Saitou....?  
  
Saitou: o.o Must....follow....bunny.....(gets a raft and starts going  
towards the shore)  
  
Bunny: (evil smile)  
  
Soujiro: GADZOOKS! THE BUNNY HAS TAKEN OVER SAITOU'S MIND! IT MUST BE EVIL!  
  
Kenshin: Oh yeah? How do *you* know, you little sword-breaking brat?! I'LL  
KILL YOU! (starts chasing Soujiro around the boat with his trusty chair)  
  
Sano: Yeah, Saitou's just going nuts, that's all! What's so evil about a  
fluffy pink bunny? (looks at the bunny) @_@ Must...follow...bunny...(jumps  
in the raft with Saitou.)  
  
Aoshi: GADZOOKS! The bunny really IS evil!  
  
Megumi: (suddenly leaps up) I'M A DOCTOR!  
  
Everyone: WE KNOW!  
  
Megumi: ISN'T IT GREAT?! NO? I'LL KILL YOU! (starts beating up a broom)  
  
Aoshi: As I was saying....(clears throat) GADZOOKS! The bunny really IS  
evil!  
  
Kenshin: (stops chasing Soujiro) Reeeeeeaaaaallllly?!  
  
Aoshi: Really.  
  
Kenshin: HOW DO YOU KNOW?!  
  
Aoshi: (points at Saitou and Sano)  
  
Saitou and Sano: (drifting towards shore on the raft, chanting something)  
@_@ We must follow the bunnies. Bow down to the bunnies. We must follow the  
bunnies. Bow down to the bunnies.  
  
Kenshin: GASP! WE MUST SAVE THEM FROM THE EVIL BUNNY!  
  
Hiko: (suddenly crashes through a brick wall that comes out of nowhere.)  
THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR SAAAAAAKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! TEHEHEHEHEHE!  
(starts guzzling down sake.)  
  
Kenshin: Um...no.  
  
Aoshi: ..But....if not sake, then....who?  
  
Soujiro: Hmmmmm.... (ponders)  
  
Yahiko: DIALOGUE! Hmmmmm... (also ponders)  
  
Kenshin: HmmmMMMMMMMMmmmmmmMMMMMMmmmmmmMMMMMMmmmmMMMMMmmmmm......(ponders  
while changing tone of voice randomly)  
  
Bunny: GET TO THE POINT YOU *$#&^$ IDIOTS! DAMN YOU ALL!  
  
Aoshi: GASP! HE CALLED US IDIOTS!  
  
Soujiro, Yahiko, Kenshin, Hiko: KIIIIIIIIILL HIMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!  
  
Aoshi: OOOOOOOOOKKKKKAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!  
  
Kenshin: YAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!! LLLLLLEEEEEEETTTTTTTT'SSSSSSS  
GGGGGGOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Soujiro: WHHHHHYYYYYYYY AAAAAARRRRREEEEEE WEEEEEEEE  
TAAAAAALKKKKKKKKIIIINGGGG LLLLLLIIIIIIIIKKKKEEEEE TTHIIIIIISSSS?!?!  
  
Yahiko: WHO CARES?!?! LET'S KILL THE BUNNY!  
  
Aoshi: YESSSSS!!! KILL THE BUNNY!  
  
Everyone: YEEEEEHAAAAW! (all grab a large raft and start paddling towards  
shore)  
  
Yahiko: How can we paddle towards shore if we don't have paddles? HUH?!?!  
  
(Oh, just use Shishio or something, moron.)  
  
Yahiko: HEY! Wait...That's a good idea!  
  
Shishio: (suddenly appears in the raft, all stiff and paddle-like.)  
  
Kenshin, Aoshi, Hiko, Soujiro: O.o  
  
Yahiko: (grabs Shishio's foot and pushes the rest of him into the water.)  
  
Steam: (starts coming from the water)  
  
Water: (evaporates)  
  
Fish: (are fish) (flop into a river or something) (do not die) (why?)  
(because I said so) (ooh, good come back) (shut up) (no, you) (no, you)  
(stop arguing with yourself) (no, you) (oh, just forget it.) (loser) (and  
proud of it.)  
  
Soujiro: Well...That's convenient.  
  
Aoshi: Sure is.  
  
Kenshin: Hai, de gozaru yo.  
  
Yahiko: I knew the mummy dude was good for something!  
  
Hiko: SAAAAAKKKEEEEEEE!!!!!  
  
All: (stare at Hiko)  
  
Hiko: (stares back)  
  
All: (stare at Hiko)  
  
Hiko: (stares back)  
  
All: (stare at Hiko)  
  
Hiko: (stares back)  
  
All: (stare at Hiko)  
  
Hiko: (stares back)  
  
Some Random Guy: (coughs)  
  
Tumbleweed: (rolls by)  
  
Soujiro: (falls asleep. With his eyes open.)  
  
All: (stare at Hiko)  
  
Hiko: (stares back)  
  
All: (stare at Hiko)  
  
Hiko: (stares back)  
  
Random Voice: PEOPLE! Remember, there's this thing; it's called the PLOT?!  
  
Kenshin: Waaaaaiiiiit a minute. You mean there's a PLOT?!?  
  
Random Voice: Duh!  
  
Kenshin: O.O (looks dumbfounded) Oro?  
  
Aoshi: You mean...all this time....There was a PLOT?! WHAT?!?! AND NO ONE  
*TOLD* ME?!?! DAMN YOU ALL! (sobs)  
  
Yahiko: Plot...What is this 'plot' you speak of? (looks puzzled)  
  
Hiko: ..... ?_?  
  
Soujiro: Plot...? As in....THE plot? The plot this story's supposed to  
follow? That we don't have? WHAT IN BLOODY HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!  
THERE IS NO PLOT!  
  
Everyone: YEAH! (all point at....well, no one, since it's just a random  
voice) YOU SPEAK CRAZINESS!  
  
Random Voice: Yeah sure whatever. (leaves)  
  
Everyone: ......  
  
Yahiko: Now what?  
  
Kenshin: I KNOW! LET'S GO KILL THE BUNNY!  
  
Everyone: YESSS! KILL THE BUNNY! (jumps out of the boat and starts running  
towards the bunny)  
  
Bunny: MWAHAHAHA! (disappears in a puff of pink smoke, taking Sano and  
Saitou with it.)  
  
Aoshi: GAAAAAAAADDDDZZOOOOOOKKKKSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Yahiko: EGAD!  
  
Soujiro: HOLY COW!  
  
Hiko: SAAAAAAKKEEEEE!!!!!  
  
Kenshin: (takes a really, really, really deep breath)  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR  
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR  
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (coughs) Okay, now  
what?  
  
Yahiko: Whaddaya mean, 'now what'?! You're the main character! YOU figure  
it out!  
  
Kaoru and Misao: (land their rocket ship) WE COME IN PEACE!  
  
Aoshi: MISAO! YOU RETURNED! I THOUGHT YOU LEFT FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER  
AND EVER! Well, actually I didn't really care, but let's pretend I did so  
you don't kill me!  
  
Kenshin: KAORU! YOU'RE BACK FROM...er....(rereads the last chapter) THE  
MOON! NOW YOU CAN HELP US KILL THE EVIL PINK BUNNY!  
  
Kaoru and Misao: OKAY! ^_______________________________^  
  
Hiko:  
SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
TO BE CONTINUED......  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?!!?! Will they rescue Sano and Saitou from the  
clutches of the evil pink bunny? Or will they just kill the bunny and leave  
without Sano and Saitou? And whatever happened to Megumi? Is she still  
fighting that broom? IS THE BROOM PART OF A CONSPIRACY OF SORTS?!?! Dun dun  
dunnnnnnnnnn.....  
  
Don't worry, next chapter will be up ASAP!  
  
Please review! Or else...I'll...um...I'll....GOOGLEPLEX! Just review, 'kay? 


	12. JIM! NOOOOO! It's Not a Cow! It's Sanosu...

Disclaimer: WORSHIP YOUR SOCKS! RIGHT NOW! YOU HEARD ME! DDDDDOOOO  
IIIIIIITTTTTT!!!!  
  
A/N: Ummm...hi? Again, sorry about the late update. Life just doesn't know  
when to stop interfering with my fanfics! But to make up for it, this is a  
nice, long chapter! Twelve pages on Microsoft Word! YAY! (looks at  
Disclaimer)  
o.0 Disclaimer has gone insane....  
  
Disclaimer: YESSS! YESSS I HAAAAAVE!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!  
  
.....Let's move on, shall we?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chapter Announcer Guy: JUST KILL ME! PLEASE! *coughs* Chapter Twelve: JIM!  
NOOOOO! It's Not a Cow! It's Sano!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Narrator: Our id----er....heroes...and heroines!!!! Our heroes and heroines  
are sitting around a table, playing cards and having a great time! YAY!  
.....And Kaoru is the most beautiful and wonderful person in the entire  
world! DON'T KILL ME! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! (flees)  
  
Authoress: DAMN IT! Third one this story! (mutters various curses as she  
looks around, trying to find something) AHA! (drags Bakura out from under  
her desk) YOU! BE THE NARRATOR!  
  
Bakura: (whining) Why do *I* have to?  
  
Authoress: 'Cause they won't scare *you* away! Especially with your  
shiiiiiiiny necklace on of shiiiinnniiiinessnessnessss!!!!!! (walks off,  
whistling as she shoves a script in Bakura's hand)  
  
Bakura: (sighs) Well, our heroes - - -AND HEROINES!!!- - -are sitting  
at...some random table, playing cards and whatever.  
  
Misao: Queen to B4!!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone: o.0  
  
Soujiro: Umm....Misao....  
  
Misao: WHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Soujiro: (looks scared) Uh, Misao...(pauses) Misao-sama...We're,  
uh.....We're playing poker......  
  
Misao: I DON'T CAAAARE!!!!!! I SAID, QUEEN TO B4!!!!!!!  
AAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (takes a huge bite out of the table)  
  
Everyone: O.O" (edges away from Misao slowly)  
  
Misao: (glares at them all) YOU GUYS ARE NO FUN! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!  
(stomps off and sits in the corner.)  
  
Everyone: (blinks)  
  
Aoshi: (whispers) She hasn't had her medication yet today.  
  
Kenshin: Medication? What for?  
  
Aoshi: For her rapid mood swings. They say she inherited it from a  
squirrel.  
  
Yahiko: o.0 I always thought she was a weasel girl....(looks at Misao) HEY  
SQUIRRELY!  
  
Misao: (turns around slowly. Eyes are burning bright red.) WHAT (grabs  
Yahiko's gi and holds him up) DID YOU CALL MEEEE?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Yahiko: Err........(starts singing) WHO LIVES IN A DOJO IN TOKYO?  
  
Misao: (drops Yahiko) (is strangely peaceful)  
  
Everyone: ^_^ (starts dancing various different dances) HIMURA KENSHIN!  
  
Yahiko: Redheaded and violet eyed is he!  
  
Everyone: HIMURA KENSHIN!  
  
Yahiko: If a peaceful rurouni be something you wish!  
  
Everyone: HIMURA KENSHIN!  
  
Yahiko: Then find him and follow him everywhere!  
  
Everyone (including Yahiko): HIMURA KENSHIN! HIMURA KENSHIN! HIMURA  
KENSHIN! HIIIIIMURAAAA KEEENNSSSHIIIIIIN!!!!!!!  
  
Leprechaun: HEHEHEEEE!!!!!  
  
Everyone: O.O (stares at the leprechaun)  
  
Leprechaun: 0.0 Umm....Hi?  
  
Kenshin: Where did you come from?  
  
Leprechaun: (sighs sadly) Well, it all started when I was wee lad growing  
up in Ireland.....  
_________________________________  
  
FIVE HOURS LATER  
__________________________________  
  
Megumi: (wiping her eyes) ;_; That is so sad!  
  
Yumi: I can't believe they forced you to march with those giraffes!  
  
Aoshi: And at such a young age!  
  
Hiko: YOU'VE NEVER TASTED SAKEEEE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!  
WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?! (picks up leprechaun. Pours a bottle of sake down  
his throat.)  
  
Leprechaun: O.O (chokes)  
  
Hiko: All better! sake. (puts the leprechaun down on the floor)  
  
Leprechaun: (writhing and twitching on the floor, choking.)  
  
Kaoru: o.0 Ooookaaay.......Let's play ring-around-the-rosie!  
  
Yahiko, Soujiro, Misao, Aoshi, Hiko, Yumi, Megumi: OKAY!  
  
All: (hold hands and start skipping in a circle) Ring around the rosie! A  
pocket full of posies! Ashes, ashes, we all fall down! (fall over. Get up  
and do it again.)  
  
Kenshin: 0.0" Uh.....Guys....  
  
All: (still singing and skipping)  
  
Kenshin: Guys.....? Guys!  
  
All: (ignoring Kenshin)  
  
Kenshin: HEY! PEOPLE!  
  
Everyone: WHAAAAAT?!?!  
  
Kenshin: LOOK! (points at leprechaun)  
  
Leprechaun: (dies)  
  
Soujiro: GASP! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! (points a shaking finger at Hiko) HOW  
*DARE* YOU?! YOU KILLED JIM! I WILL GET MY REVEEEENGE! (starts sobbing,  
holding Jim's hand.)  
  
Everyone: O.o  
  
Kaoru: I thought his name was [insert Irish name here].  
  
Yumi: (solemn) It's okay, Soujiro. Jim is in a better place now.  
  
Yahiko: Where?  
  
Yumi: (still solemnly) A hotdog stand.  
  
Yahiko: (nods knowingly)  
  
Soujiro: (ignoring everyone else) Jim, you lived such a hard life, but you  
were always a good leprechaun. You never neglected to do your job, and you  
always marched with the giraffes, no matter how much they smelled. (sniff)  
I'm....I'm sorry it had to end this way, buddy! I'm so sorry! (sobs)  
  
Misao: Um....Why is Soujiro talking to a dead leprechaun?  
  
Kaoru: He needs some time alone. Let him be. (pulls everyone off to the  
side.)  
  
Hiko: ;_; I....I didn't mean to kill Jim! sake. (cries)  
  
Kenshin: (puts his arm around Hiko.) I know, Hiko, I know. But sometimes  
these things just happen, and there's no way you can stop them from  
happening. We forgive you.  
  
Hiko: (sniffle) R-really? sake. (sniff)  
  
Kenshin: (nods) Really.  
  
Hiko: YAY! ^_^  
  
Soujiro: (still talking to Jim) Hrefiuehfiuwehfsdbjfkdwsofhweirhfbckjdbfje!  
Hkdhfiuwehrfiuhfkjdhfkdjf! Jkfhfiewfhewifhewhfjv. Kweurhiuwerhhfh.  
  
Jim: (is still dead.)  
  
Soujiro: (sighs sadly.) I'll never forget you, Jim. (walks over to the rest  
of the peopleses.)  
  
Kenshin: (is actually not trying to kill Soujiro) Are you okay?  
  
Soujiro: Yeah. (sniffle) I remember that one time, when I was riding my  
tricycle.....  
  
[BEGIN FLASHBACK]  
  
Three-year-old Soujiro: Lalalalaaaaa! (riding a small red tricycle towards  
a huge hill in San Diego, California.)  
  
Some Guy: LOOK! THAT KID'S GONNA FALL DOWN THE HILL! Hmmmm... (grabs some  
popcorn and sits down to watch)  
  
Soujiro: Lalalalaaa.....AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! (falling down hill)  
  
Jim the Leprechaun: (jumps in out of no where) SOUJIRO!  
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (grabs Soujiro off the tricycle and pulls him to  
safety.)  
  
Some Guy: LOOK! THAT LEPRECHAUN'S KIDNAPPING THAT KID! (grabs more popcorn  
and sits back down to watch)  
  
Police: (start driving up in police cars)  
  
Jim: o.o Gotta go, Soujiro! See ya! (disappears into the sunset, police  
chasing him)  
  
Soujiro: (waves) ^_^ Bye bye!  
  
[END FLASHBACK]  
  
Yumi: (singing to herself to the Carmen Sandiego song thinger) Oh, where in  
the world is San Diego, California?  
  
Kaoru: Soujiro...?  
  
Soujiro: Yeah?  
  
Kaoru: That never happened.  
  
Soujiro: o.o Um......(looks around) .....Where's Sanosuke? And Saitou?  
  
Kenshin: 0.0 I....don't....know...DID YOU KILL THEM, LIKE YOU KILLED MY  
SWORD?!?! (twitch. twitch.)  
  
Soujiro: 0.o (backs away from an extremely psychotic Kenshin)  
  
Aoshi: Noooo, they were kidnapped by the evil fluffy pink bunnies,  
remember?  
  
Kenshin: Oh. I see. (glares at Soujiro but calms down.)  
  
Director: (speaking over the loud speaker) ALL CAST MEMBERS OF RUROUNI  
KENSHIN, REPORT TO THE STUDIO AT ONCE! And remember to bring Saitou and  
Sanosuke! The limo is waiting. That is all.  
  
Misao: (looks nervous)....We're in trouble.....  
  
Megumi: Anyone got any ideas? I DO! LET'S GET COFFEE!  
  
Hiko: That won't solve anything! Sake!  
  
Megumi: YEEESSSSS IT WIIIIIILLLLL!!!! (gets a coffee pot out of nowhere.  
Pours coffee all over self.) TEHEHEHEHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!  
  
All: O.o  
  
Kenshin: ....Wait here. I have an idea. (leaves)  
  
_____________________  
2 SECONDS LATER  
____________________  
  
Kenshin: (returns, riding a cow and holding a box of hair gel under one  
arm, and a miniature poodle under the other.)  
  
Everyone: o.0  
  
Kenshin: Just hold on a second! ^_^ (gets down and turns his back to them,  
doing something with the hair gel) (turns back to them) See?  
  
Cow: Moo. (hair is styled like Sano's)  
  
Poodle: Yip! Yip yip! (hair is styled like Saitou's)  
  
Kenshin: (points to cow.) That's Sano.....(points to poodle)......And  
that's Saitou! ^______^  
  
Everyone: WOW!  
  
Kaoru: You must be a GENIUS!  
  
Kenshin: (gets faraway look) I'm no genius....But I *am*---(pauses  
dramatically)---a hairstylist.  
  
Everyone: GASP!  
  
Soujiro: Then why is your hair always such a mess?  
  
Kenshin: I'LL KILL YOU!  
  
Limo Driver Person Thingy: (opens the door) Excuse me, sirs, madams, but we  
must leave quickly. (twitches) If I'm late, I won't get to go to the movies  
in time! AND THEY'RE SHOWING "THE MUFFIN MAN"!!!!!!!!!!! (twitch) So please  
get in.  
  
Everyone: o.0 Okay. (gets in)  
  
Kenshin: (grumbling) I wanna drive!  
  
________________________  
AT THE STUDIO........  
_________________________  
  
Kenshin: We're here! (drags "Sano" and "Saitou" in.)  
  
Director: Good, good.....Where's Sano? I need to talk to him about this  
scene......  
  
Kenshin: Right here! (points at the cow)  
  
"Sano": Moo.  
  
Director: o.0 That's not Sanosuke. That's a cow.  
  
Misao: IT'S NOT A COW! IT'S SANO! WOULD A *COW* HAVE WHITE SPOTS?!?!  
  
Director: 0.o Er...Yes.....  
  
Misao: o.o Oh. BUT WOULD A *COW* HAVE A TAIL?!?!  
  
Director: (nods)  
  
Misao: Wellllll....WOULD A COW HAVE THIS HAIRDO?! (points to Kenshin's  
masterpiece)  
  
Kenshin: (beams)  
  
Sano: Moo.  
  
Director: I....guess not....Well, where's Saitou?  
  
Kenshin: He's over here! (points to the black miniature poodle, who is  
chewing on some wires on the set) HERE, SAITOU!  
  
Saitou: YIP! YIP! YIP! (comes bounding over. wags tail)  
  
Director: That's not Saitou! That's a poodle!  
  
Misao: NO! IT'S SAITOU! WOULD A *POODLE* HAVE FUR?!?!  
  
Director: (sighs in exasperation) Nevermind! Just read these, and get  
ready! (throws them their scripts) By the way, where were you all this  
time?  
  
Soujiro: (remembers) Poor, poor Jim....(sniff)  
  
Director: o.0 I don't think I want to know. (walks off to get the set ready  
and stuff)  
  
"Sano": MOO! (eats the director's new tuxedo)  
  
"Saitou": Yip! YIP YIP YIP YIP YIP YIP YIP YIP!!!!!!! (starts yipping  
nonstop and chasing the camera guy, who is still injured from the first  
chapter.)  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...........  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: Where in the world is San Diego, California? Ummm.....in Idaho? I  
just noticed, the last chapter was The Evil Plot of the Pink Bunnies: Part  
One. There is no part two.......IT'S THE MYSTERY OF THE NONEXISTENT PART  
TWO! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
*shakes head sadly* Poor Jim......His name wasn't even Jim....It was  
[insert Irish name here].  
You know what? Reviews = chapters. You know you can't resist almighty Box-  
sama. Click it.....Cliiiiiiiick iiiiit....You knooowwww you waaant  
tooooo...... 


	13. Join the Macaroni Protest Movement TODAY...

Disclaimer: TEHEHE! YOU ARE NOOOTTTTT AAAAAAA TOOOMAAATOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Taji: ACK! Someone help! THE DISCLAIMER'S GOING TO BURN US ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: YESSSSS!!!!!!! YESSSSS!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!  
  
Kenshingumi: WE'LL SAVE YOU! *in superhero capes*  
  
Heroic Music: DA DA DA DAAAAAA!  
  
Taji: *tears in eyes* REALLY???  
  
Kenshin: NO! AHAHAHAHA!!!!!! *runs away*  
  
Kaoru: o.o How....unKenshin-like......  
  
Everyone (besides Kenshin): LET'S GO GET A SANDWICH! *leaves*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Director: (returns) TIIIIIME TO D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DIRECT! (holds up a deck of  
cards. puts them back in his pocket and straightens his tie.)  
  
Kenshin: (raises his hand) Mister Director Guy?  
  
Director: Yes, Kenshin?  
  
Kenshin: Can I ask you a question?  
  
Director: Yes, Kenshin.  
  
Kenshin: Are you sure?  
  
Director: I'm sure.  
  
Kenshin: OKAY! ^_^ I just wanted to know.....(takes a deep breath)  
Howcomeyouwearfancyclotheswhennooneisevengonnaseeyoubecausethey'rejustgonnas  
eeusunlessyoumessupandthecameraguyfilmsyouwatchingsoapoperasagainlikehedidth  
atonetimeandcanItouchyoursuitbecauseit'sreallyshiny,shinierthananysuitI'veev  
erseensodoyouputvarnishonittomakeitthatshinybecauseit'sreallyreallyreallyshi  
nyMisterDirectorGuysohowcomeyouwearshinysuits?????????????  
  
Everyone: O.o  
  
Director: Err....Because.....LOOK! A BIRD!  
  
Everyone: (looks at the bird outside the window)  
  
Soujiro: Hello birdy! You're a nice little birdy, so happy and cheerful!  
JUST LIKE ME! I think I'll name you Soujiro the Second, birdy! Okay? Okay!  
Sure, I can meet you at the café at eight o'clock! So, how are things  
going, Soujiro the Second??? ^____^  
  
Bird: (spontaneously combusts)  
  
Soujiro: WHY DO ALL MY FRIENDS KEEP DYING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! (sobs)  
  
Kaoru: *twitches* Birds aaarrrrreeeeee myyyyyyy  
frrrrriiiiiieeeeeeennnnnndddddsssssssssssssssssss.......(laughs insanely)  
  
Everyone: O.O" (backs away slowly)  
  
Kaoru: (blinks at them) WHAT'S WROOOOOOOOOOONG, SPACESHIP JOE?  
  
Sano/Cow: MOO!  
  
Kaoru: GAAAAASSSSSPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh. Okay.  
  
Saitou/Poodle: YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP YIPYIPYIPYIIIIIIIIP!  
  
Kohana: (pops up out of nowhere) STAAAAAY AWAAAAAAAAY FROM MR. SUNSHINE!  
HE'S A LUNATIC I TELL YA! A LUNATIC! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!  
(runs around screaming for about three hours, then disappears)  
  
Hiko: (humming to himself)  
  
Kenshin: (stares at Hiko)  
  
Hiko: (humming grows louder...)  
  
Kaoru: (watches Kenshin watch Hiko)  
  
Hiko: (...louder....)  
  
Yahiko: (watches Kaoru watch Kenshin watch Hiko)  
  
Soujiro: (watches Yahiko watch Kaoru watch Kenshin watch Hiko)  
  
Hiko: (and louder.....)  
  
Megumi, Yumi, Shishio, "Sano", "Saitou", Aoshi, Misao: (watch Soujiro watch  
Yahiko watch Kaoru watch Kenshin watch Hiko)  
  
Hiko: (starts singing) OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST! THE  
BEST THERE EVER WAS! TO CATCH THEM ALL IS MY REAL TEST! TO TRAIN THEM IS MY  
CAAAUUUUSSE!!!!! POKEMON! GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! (starts doing weird poses,  
holding a painted red and white baseball, dripping with wet paint.)  
  
Everyone: 0.0  
  
Hiko: (in girlish voice) JOIN THE FUN!  
  
Kenshin: NOT IF I TELL ON YOU FIRST, YOU LLAMA STEALER! (points an accusing  
finger at Hiko)  
  
Hiko: (sighs) All right, you caught me. (pulls several llamas out of his  
pockets)  
  
Llama 1: Baaaaa. BAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!  
  
Llama 2: Oink. Moo. Neigh. Splat. PIG SPLAT!  
  
Llama 3: MONKEYSOUP! MONKEYSOUP!  
  
Llama 4: She was lookin' kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb in the  
shape of an 'L' on her forehead.....  
  
Llama 5: HEY, NONNY NONNY, HEY!  
  
Llama 6: Ding dong, the witch is dead!  
  
Llama 7: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!  
  
Everyone: O.o  
  
Llamas: (argue amongst themselves for a while about whether or not the sky  
is blue, then devour each other until only Llama2 is left.)  
  
Llama 2: I AM SUPREME RULER OF THE  
UUUUUNNNNNIIIIIIVEEEEERRSSSEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! (suddenly has a cane and top  
hat) (starts singing and dancing) U-n-i-v-e-r-s-e! What does it spell?  
UNIVERSE! U-n-i-v-e-r-s-e! What does it spell? UNIVERSE! U-n-i-v-e-r-s-e!  
What does it spell? UNIVERSE! U-n-i-v-e-r-s-e! What does it spell?  
UNIVERSE! U-n---  
  
Large Truck: (suddenly crashes through the studio and runs over the llama)  
  
Llama 2: HA! NOW I AM 2-DIMENSIONAL! WAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!  
(jumps off a nonexistent cliff and dies)  
  
Everyone: O.O  
  
Kenshin: ...Oro......CANIHAVEMORESUGARMISTERDIRECTORGUY?!?!?!  
  
Director: NO! JUST DO THE [bleeeep] SHOW!  
  
Kenshin: TALLY HO, THEN! (starts marching towards the set, whistling  
cheerfully) ^___________________^  
  
All: (shrug and follow Kenshin)  
  
Director: Three, two, one, ACTION!  
  
[Revival of a Fighting Spirit: Scene during Kenshin and Shishio's fight in  
which Kenshin regains consciousness]  
Kenshin: (slowly gets to his feet) Makoto Shishio.....  
  
Shishio: (drinking a can of cola) Yeah? (burps)  
  
Kenshin: ......(is asleep)  
  
Shishio: WHAT IN HADES DO YOU WANT?!?! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!!!!!!!  
AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kenshin: Weeeeeeeeeeeelllllll.......I WANT A PONY, A PUPPY, A BEAR, A  
COLLEGE DEGREE, ICE CREAM, A SWIRLY PEN, A SHINY SUIT, HAIR GEL, AND  
SUUUUUGGGGAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!! And peace. Peace is good, ne? Hai, of  
course it is. Peace is always good, de gozaru yo. That's what I thought.  
You thought correctly. Thanks. You're welcome. Let's go hijack a school  
bus! OKAY! ^_^ (starts to skip off into the sunset.)  
  
Shishio: (starts spacing out) Mmhmm....Yeah, sure.....Rise, O Mighty Golden  
Banana......(falls over.)  
  
Director: CUT! TAKE TWO! (mutters) Morons...  
  
[Take 2]  
Kenshin: Yo, Shishio, here's da deal. You ain't gonna ruin the peace, you  
hear? 'Cause I ain't gonna let ya! Now let's show off our totally awesome  
moves, dude!  
  
Shishio: Dude, I didn't finish my pie!  
  
Yumi: PIE! PIIIIE! (runs around looking for a window to jump out of.  
Decides to toss herself over the edge of the world instead) PIIIIIIIIIIIIE!  
AAAAAHHHH!!!!!!  
  
Houji: Insane is DA WAY TO GO! (also tosses himself over the edge of the  
world)  
  
Kenshin: The day Jimmy's boa ate the wash was a sad day indeed for our  
country, my friends. A sad day indeed.  
  
Shishio: (nods) Ummmm....Minnesota! (blows up)  
  
Kenshin: I DEFEATED MUMMY MAN! ^____^  
  
Director: You IDIOTS! CUUUUT!  
  
Everyone: (cuts out paper dolls and holds them up for the director to see)  
^____^  
  
Director: (slaps his forehead and sighs) Let's try another scene first,  
okay?  
  
Aoshi: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! THREE TIMES IS TOOOOOO  
MUUUUUUCCCCCHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (sobs)  
  
Misao:  
PEEEERRRRRIIIIIIWWWWWWIIIIIIIINNNNNNNKKKKKKLLLLLLLEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
!!!!!!!!!!!!! (also sobs)  
  
Kenshin: Everywhere you look you'll find a square! SAY CHEESE!  
  
Everyone: HAAAAAM!!!!!!!!  
  
Megumi: (singing) LET'S ALL RIIIIIIIIIIIIDE THE DINOSAURS! OH, LET'S ALL  
RIIIIIIIIIIDE THE DINOSAURS! WE'LL HAVE LOTS OF FUN! UNDER THE SUN! IF WE  
ALLLLLLLL RIIIIIIIIIIDE THE DINOSAURS! A sailor's life is not for me!  
  
Soujiro: Does the air we breathe come from soccer balls?  
  
Yahiko: No, but you must realize that ketchup is a certified soldier of the  
laundry mat!  
  
Soujiro: Perhaps, but pink and purple stars don't allow spiraling  
staircases to buy hotdogs in Europe!  
  
Yahiko: That's true....  
  
Both: Hmmm......(look around thoughtfully)  
  
Freaky Voice: Prepaaaare yourself! Another episode of Yu Yu Hakusho is  
beginning!  
  
Other Freaky Voice: (whispers) Ghost files!  
  
Everyone: o.o (hums x-files theme song)  
  
Kenshin: Intuition is a WORD!  
  
Aoshi: BUT YOU DIDN'T PAINT IT!  
  
Kenshin: I KNOW! ISN'T IT SAAAAD?!?!?!?!?!?!?  
  
Hiko: (pulls out two swords and a coconut, sets them on the table, and  
starts singing) One of these things is not like the other! One of these  
things does NOT belong! HEHEHE! SAKE!  
  
Kaoru: IT MUST BE THAT ONE! (points to sword)  
  
Random Kid: (wanders in) I love Welsh's grape juice! It tastes like cow  
manure! DECK THE HALLS! (dies)  
  
Yahiko: EEEEWWWWW!!!!!!!!  
  
Aoshi: EEEEEEEEWWWWWW!!!!!!!! IT'S SO THANKSGIVING! (starts doing the  
limbo)  
  
Saitou/Poodle: (takes off costume. Is really Saitou.) HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!  
I mean......Hn. (lights a cigarette)  
  
Sano/Cow: (also takes off costume. Is Brittney Spears. Takes off other  
costume. Is Sanosuke.) SAAAAAAAAAANDIWCH! HAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!  
  
Aoshi: WOW! What an unexpected plot twist!!!!!!  
  
Kenshin: We're expecting rain tomorrow!  
  
Misao: NOOOOOOO!  
  
Megumi: (plays the harmonica) Oh yeeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!  
  
Kaoru: o.o (turns back to Hiko) It IS the sword, isn't it?  
  
Hiko: YES! ^_^ (eats the coconut)  
  
Kaoru: I KNEW IT!  
  
Yumi: (runs off and steals---er...*buys* a gamecube.)  
WHEEEEEHEHEHEHEEEE!!!!!!!!! LEVEL TWO HUNDRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Shishio: Why must I use these damn sugar substitutes?! WHY?!?!?! SUGAR WAS  
MY FRIEND! EVERYONE WAS MY FRIEND, UNTIL *HE* SHOWED UP! (points at  
Kenshin)  
  
Kenshin: SUGAR IS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD, DE GOZARU YO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kaoru: (suddenly looking a lot like a psychiatrist) Yes, but you have been  
consuming sugar at an alarming rate.  
  
Sanosuke: (nods) This is true.  
  
Misao: It cannot possibly be healthy for you to consume that much sugar,  
Himura.  
  
Yahiko: She is correct in making that statement, my dear old friend. You  
must follow a more nutritious diet.  
  
Duck: Quaaaack.  
  
Everyone (besides Kenshin and the duck): (nods wisely) That is true.  
  
Kenshin: O.o ....Oro?  
  
Megumi: (shakes her head) See, what did I tell you, Kaoru? There's that  
word again.  
  
Kaoru: (sighs) I suppose you're right. Kenshin probably does have mental  
issues.  
  
Kenshin: O.O Ororo?!?!  
  
Misao: Kenshin, I don't want to hear that word again. Now, what seems to be  
the problem?  
  
Kenshin: Or--- Er...What problem?  
  
Sano: (shakes his head sadly) In denial already.  
  
Kenshin: (bewildered) What do you mean?! Sessha does not have any mental  
issues!!!!  
  
Aoshi: Oh? Then why are you here?  
  
Kenshin: o.0 Because I *live* here, in the trailer just around the corner  
from yours, remember?  
  
Hiko: Ahem. I would like to speak. sake.  
  
Everyone: Whatever.  
  
Hiko: Thank you. AHEM! We are gathered here today for two reasons: one---  
to discuss my baka deshi's mental instability, and two--- to become part of  
the macaroni protest movement. (leafs through a packet of papers and begins  
reading)  
Now, my dear friends, I am sure you have encountered macaroni of some  
sort at one point in your life. It may seem like a bunch of delicious,  
harmless pasta, but don't be fooled. Macaroni poses a serious threat  
to our nation. There is evidence of this so called "harmless" pasta  
being involved in numerous violent attacks against Japan, including  
suicide missions.  
Do you realize what that means? This macaroni is willing to  
*die* if it helps in the destruction of Japan. As we speak, the  
Macaroni Association of Doom is building up its forces and  
training its warriors for combat. If we, the insane ones, do not  
act now, the macaroni may very well take over the world!  
We must burn every piece of macaroni we can find and  
protest against its sale. Do not eat it, my friends! It  
will take over your mind! If we do this, then we shall be  
protecting our nation from a serious threat that could have  
destroyed the world if it were not for us. So, in  
conclusion, BECOME PART OF THE MACARONI PROTEST MOVEMENT!  
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the  
problem. Sake.  
  
Everyone: (claps and cheers)  
  
Kenshin: SUUUUUUGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kaoru: (looks at him sternly) Kenshin, what did you say?  
  
Kenshin: 0.0 Shoe gr. I said shoe gr. (sweatdrops)  
  
Kaoru: Oh! In that case, I can go back to being insane! THE VOICES!!!!!  
HELP ME, SOMEONE!!!!!! THE  
VOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCEEEEEESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Saitou: Ahou....You better stay away from my daisies or I'll punch you  
until you cry, cut you into tiny little pieces, and leave you in a neatly  
wrapped container on the street so that some old guy will think you're  
sushi and feed you to his pet goat, who is, incidentally, a master thief  
getting ready to steal the original Mona Lisa, replace it with a fake, and  
retire to live out his golden years, but not before consuming twenty cans  
of chicken noodle soup.  
  
Everyone: O.o  
  
Kaoru: o.0 How...descriptive.....YOU'RE ONE OF THEM, AREN'T  
YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Saitou: Well, yes, actually.....HA! I LIED! (does the can-can)  
  
Everyone: ^______^ (does the can-can) It's aaaaalllllll gooood!  
  
Director: (has now pulled out all of his hair) DAMN YOU!!!!! (runs away)  
  
Some Guy: (appears) Hello! I'm going to be your new director! ^_^  
  
Everyone: 0.o Uhhh....Okay.  
  
Some Guy: My name is Mr. Poofy Dude!  
  
Everyone: Uhhh.....Okay.  
  
Mr. Poofy Dude: Okay, so I was thinking, get this.... "Saitou's Clues!"  
Saitou, you could dress up in the dog costume, and---  
  
Saitou: No.  
  
Mr. Poofy Dude: But---  
  
Saitou: No.  
  
Mr. Poofy Dude: I just----  
  
Saitou: NO.  
  
Mr. Poofy Dude: (sweatdrops)  
  
Everyone: O.o (stares at him for several hours, during which Shishio  
becomes a maypole.)  
  
Everyone besides Shishio: (stare at Shishio for several hours.) (start  
dancing around him) ^_^ MAAAAAAYYPOOOOLLLLLEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
TBC......  
  
______________~~~~_______________~~~__________________~~~_______  
  
A/N: Review. Please. Even though this is the worst chapter. Sorry about the  
late update.....I'M THE WORST AUTHOR EVER! *cries*  
  
You know what? My computer's sound effects are traumatizing me. Yeah.  
  
Support the Mop Head Cow Clan! Review today! 


	14. WE'RE POOR! YAY!

Disclaimer: GET AWAY FROM THE CURLY FRIES! THEY'RE BRAINWASHING YOU!!!!!!  
  
Taji: HELLOOOOOOOOO, EVERYONE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *breath*  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *cough* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
*choke* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA---  
  
Kenshin: Is there any reason why you're laughing like a completely insane  
lunatic, Miss Taji?  
  
Taji: NO! ^_^ --HAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, yes, actually...IT'S  
'CAUSE OF THOSE WONDERFUL, FANTASTIC, AMAZING, AWESOME REVIEWERS WE  
HAVE!!!!!!!!! I mean, fourteen reviews in just TWO DAYS after posting the  
chapter!!!! YIIIIIIII!!!!!! YOU GUYS ROCK! I've taken the time to respond  
to each of you this chapter. (sorry if I didn't get to ya; it's probably  
cuz you reviewed after I typed this)  
  
myvan --- *wipes tears from eyes* Thank you so much! A genius?! Wow. Naw, I  
think I'm just insane.....I can't believe anyone would like this fic enough  
to print it out! Glad to give you some entertainment! Thank you!!!!! Your  
review really made my day! ^_____^  
  
samurai-swords-maid --- SUGAR! YIII! Thanks again for reviewing! And for  
putting me on your bio. 'De gozaru yo' is the equivalent of 'that it is'  
and stuff in English. I should have included a lil' dictionary  
thing...Sorry!  
Kenshin: YOU WILL NEVER HAVE MY SUGAR!!!! GRRRRR!!!!!! *starts foaming at  
the mouth*  
Taji: O.O'' Easy, there, Kenshin....  
  
The Nami-chan --- Awwww....Poor Mrs. Bob....*sniff* Ummm....You'll have to  
ask Hiko where the macaroni protest movement meets.....  
Hiko: Where DOESN'T it meet??? Huh??? Sake!  
  
Houndingwolf --- YEAH! Go Mop Heads! THE MOP HEAD COWS SHALL RULE THE  
WOOOORRRLLLLLDDDD!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Aries-Dragon-Guardian --- Thanks for reviewing! I'm updating! WHEE!  
  
Mee-chan --- Poor Saitou. Dumped by a poodle. Well, everyone is dumped by a  
poodle at some point in their life, ne? I'm trying to update ASAP! I am!  
DON'T HURT ME! Heh...Yeah.  
  
Sesshi lover --- Erm....It's getting boring saying 'thank you for  
reviewing' over and over....Hmmm.....*clears throat*  
I am deeply honored and forever grateful that you took the time to tell me  
your thoughts on this very odd piece of literature. Heehee. By the way, I  
read your fic....It's hilarious! PEOPLE! READ SESSHI LOVER'S FIC!!!! It's  
called "You'll Never Guess What They Do off the Set".  
  
Master of Time and Space - O.O" *backs away slowly.* Yes, master.  
  
Shessha's Crazy - Duuuuuuude, like, totally! Yeeeeaaaaah, duuuuude, it's  
like, awesome, you know?!  
  
Paopei - Thank Kami-sama you think so, 'cause I'm losing my inspiration!  
  
Nekobara -- *looks up at the sky* THANK THE GODS! THESE PEOPLE ACTUALLY  
LIKE WHAT I WRITE! IN YOUR FACE, EVIL DOOM MICROWAVE!  
  
SilverLightning177 --- Domo arigatou! LET'S ALL EAT CHEESE!  
  
TokyoTeen13 --- Really? Did you know that the seven seas of Pluto are often  
used for travelling purposes by small unicellular organisms whose sole  
intent is to manufacture and export genetically altered rainbow alligators  
to England using the latest technology in space crafts? By the way, thanks  
for supporting the cause!  
  
Jiao-chan --- Dude! I know! It, like, kinda scares people away from me at,  
like, skewl when my friend and me, like, think of ideas for this story,  
dude!  
  
Dragon Ladysupreme --- Actually, I don't! M I STILL A TRAITOR?! I'M SO  
SORRY! *cries. Stops abruptly* My name is Angela, hey hello! Welcome to my  
very own shooow! I'll introduce myself to yooouuuuu---Oh no! It's Ninny  
Poo! DadadadadaDAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! (Sorry. Random song from a random show.)  
  
Chibi-Tenken --- Hellooooooooo!!!!!!! Hi Fujihiko! Sorry about the llama  
bashing. They were freakish llamas that were made insane by Hiko, um,  
keeping them in his pockets anyway. Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Unique-starfish --- Thank you!!!!!!! DON'T TOUCH THE PANCAKES! THEY WILL  
BURN YOUUUUUU!!!!!!! I like your name!  
  
Aharah Musici --- Hi! I misseded you...;_; Too bad I don't have IM anymore.  
NOOOO! DON'T TOUCH THE MACARONI! HIKO WILL KILL YOUUUUUUU!!!!!! Yup. I  
constantly question my own sanity and doubt that I have any remaining.....  
  
Insanerkin013 --- Did you know that the 3 button doesn't work at the top of  
my keyboard??? It's probably my fault, somehow, but it's ANNOYING!  
Anyways.....Thank you for reviewing, supporting the Mop Heads, and joining  
the Macaroni Protest Movement! Invent a clam!  
  
dreammaster2411 --- And now you're replying to yourself! Yes, self, you are  
very pathetic indeed! But that's all right. We were born that way, ne,  
self? Or maybe we became pathetic over the hundreds of years we lived as a  
wolf youkai. Either way, we-should we say I?---are very pathetic and should  
get on with the story.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chapter Announcer Guy: CHAPTER FOURTEEN: WE'RE POOR!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bakura/Narrator: Everyone is just sorta standing there and staring blankly  
at the wall because no one's telling them what to do, which is the result  
of the authoress having writer's block.  
  
Director (aka Mr. Poofy Dude): Cast, ASSEMBLLLLLEEEE!!!!!!  
  
Everyone: (ASSEMBLLLLLLLLEEESSSS!) SIR, YES, SIR!!!!!!!!  
  
Director: I have an announcement to make! Kamatari, you keep track of the  
money, ne?  
  
Kamatari: ^^ Hai! Money is goooooooood....Muahahaha......  
  
*Scary music plays. Thunder sounds.*  
  
Everyone: O.o  
  
Hiko: NOT AS GOOD AS SAKEEEEEE!!!!!!! (starts singing) I had a pot of sake!  
I made it out of clay! And now I can use it to gather lots of sake to-  
day!!!!!!  
  
Kenshin: IT BUUUUURRRRNNNNNSSSS!!!!!!! (covers his ears)  
  
Shishio: Just like the fires of Hades! (voice echoes)  
Hades......Hades...Hades...O.o  
  
Misao: Echo should be spelled 'eco'!!!!! It looks too much like Etch-a-  
Sketch!!!!! WHYYYYY?!?!?!  
  
Yahiko: WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!!?!?!  
  
Aoshi: THE APOCALYPSE IS COMING!!!!!!  
  
Everyone: O.O AHHHHHH!!!!!! THE APOCALYPSE!!!!!!!! (runs around in circles,  
waving their arms like idiots)  
  
Director: (sighs) HEY!!!!!!! ASSEMBLE!  
  
Everyone: HAI!!! (assembles again)  
  
Director: Now, Kamatari, how much money do we have altogether?  
  
Kamatari: OOO! OOO! I KNOW THIS ONE!!!! (gets out a box labeled 'Ou®  
MoNeYs' and opens it)  
  
Box: (contains a Hershey bar wrapper, two dancing elephants, a colorful  
butterfly, a blindfolded squirrel, Cheerios, Enishi in a monkey suit, and  
the Bubonic plague.)  
  
Enishi in a monkey suit: Meow! Wait! I mean...Mooooooooo! ...Er...Oink?  
GOOGLEPLEX!  
  
Kamatari: We're broke! YAY! ^_____^ (closes the box and throws it off to  
parts unknown)  
  
Kenshin: NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO---Okay! ^_^  
  
Sanosuke: BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SUGAR PLUMS?!?  
  
Aoshi: (pats him on the back) They're in Heaven now, Sanosuke.  
  
Soujiro: (sniff) I'll....I'll miss them!  
  
Kaoru: Me too. (sighs sadly)  
  
Saitou: (gets another cigarette) They used to be friends with my  
daisies....I always wanted to meet them, but I guess I can't, now....(wipes  
a tear from his eye)  
  
Everyone: (reminisces about the sugarplums that are in Heaven now.)  
  
Director: 0.o (coughs) Ahem! As you can see, we're broke! As in poor! As in  
we need cash or we'll die of starvation! Sooo......  
  
Yumi: Sew?  
  
Misao: No, 'so'.  
  
Soujiro: Like in 'soda'?  
  
Misao: Hai! ^-^  
  
Sano: Mmmmm.....Soda...(drools)  
  
Megumi: NO! COFFEE!  
  
Sano: SODA!  
  
Megumi: COFFEE!  
  
Sano: SODAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Megumi: COFFEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! (beats Sano up)  
  
Sano: @.@ Coffee.  
  
Director: SO, we're going to have you make an advice column thingy and give  
out advice for the price of one review!  
  
Kenshin: ORO?!  
  
Everyone else: NANI?!  
  
Director: Yeah, I've got it all planned out! (snaps his fingers)  
  
Camera Crew: (brings in a huge neon sign that reads: HELP FEED THE CAST OF  
RUROUNI KENSHIN! (They're poor!))  
  
Director: See?!  
  
Yahiko: Demo...How did you have the money to make a huge flashing neon sign  
if you don't have the money to feed us?  
  
Director: I sold all of Kenshin's sugar! ^_^  
  
Kenshin: 0.0 (starts twitching violently)  
  
Everyone: (massive sweatdrop) (backs away from the director slowly)  
  
Kenshin: (twitch) YOU *WHAT*?!?!?!?!!!  
  
Director: O.O I...um...  
  
Kenshin: HOW *DARE* YOU TOUCH MY SUGAR?!?!?!!!! FOR THIS, YOU  
DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
(flips his blade to the sharp side and performs the Amakakeru Ryu no  
Hiromeki on the director)  
  
Director: O.O" (is dead.)  
  
Some Guy: (walks in, kicks the former director's body into a ditch, which  
is instantly sucked into a black hole, and walks away, whistling  
nonchalantly)  
  
Kenshin: REVENGE IS MIIIIIIINE! BWAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!  
  
Enishi in a banana suit: (appears) NO, IT'S MINE!  
  
Kenshin: MINE!  
  
Enishi: MINE!  
  
Kenshin: MIIIINE!!!!!  
  
Enishi: MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!!!  
  
Kenshin: IT'S MINE!  
  
Enishi: (shrugs) Yeah, whatever. (disappears)  
  
Random Person: (walks in) I'm the new director! Well, actually, I'm the old  
director, but now I'm the new director! MWAHAHA!  
  
Everyone: O.o  
  
Kaoru: Ohhhh yeeeeaaaahhh...You're the guy who sent us to the  
psychiatrist's office! WE MISSED YOU!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone: GROUP HUG!!!!! (runs in opposite directions, yelling and waving  
their arms like idiots again)  
  
Director: (wipes tears from eyes) I missed you, too! Now, let's get down to  
business. Since we're broke, you're all going to do the advice-giving thing  
like Mr. Poofy Dude said.  
  
Yumi: Do we have to sew?  
  
Director: ......O.o  
  
Sano: SODA!!!!!!  
  
Megumi: COFFEEEEE!!!!!! (beats Sano up again)  
  
Director: -_-;; Didn't miss you that much. No, you do not have to sew!  
You're giving out advice! Why would you be sewing?!  
  
Misao: SO! NOT SEW!!!!!  
  
Yumi: Ohhhh. Okay.  
  
Soujiro: And the cow jumped over the moon!  
  
Shishio: Huh?  
  
Soujiro: Dunno, just felt like saying that.  
  
Director: (rolls his eyes. hands everyone pieces of paper) Hand these out  
to people.  
  
Aoshi: 0.0 Is that our mission?  
  
Director: (nods) That is your mission. GO, GO, GO!  
  
Everyone: (runs away, holding the papers high above their heads) GO, GO,  
GOBOTS!  
  
Bakura/Narrator: (is handed a paper) (reads aloud) "Do you have a problem?  
We've got answers! Come to the Rurouni Kenshin studio today and get advice  
from professionals on how to solve your problems! Help feed the Rurouni  
Kenshin cast! They're poor! It only costs 1 review!" (blinks. glances at  
the authoress, who is also reading one of the papers)  
  
Authoress/Taji: What? They're not professionals!  
  
Bakura: (shrugs) Well, Kaoru's a professional kendo teacher, Megumi's a  
professional doctor, Saitou's a police officer, Aoshi and Misao are  
professional ninjas, Sanosuke's a professional fighter for hire,  
Kenshin's.....a professional laundry cleaner....  
  
Taji: Okay, I get the picture. You do have a point.....I wonder how this is  
gonna turn out! (evil grin)  
  
Bakura: (sweatdrops) So, readers, got any problems? They've got  
answers...(points at the group of people running around and throwing papers  
at random citizens while occasionally attacking each other).....We think.  
-_-;;  
  
Taji: .....So if you pay just one review, you can tell us your problem in  
your review, and we'll force them to help you in the next chapter!  
  
Bakura: Gee. Sounds fun.  
  
Taji: Shut up.  
  
TBC.........  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
In the next chapter, advice will be given, pies will be thrown, and all  
your problems will be solved! ...If your definition of 'solved' is 'made  
worse'.  
  
^_______________________________________________________________^  
O.o  
o.O  
0.0  
0.o  
o.0  
o.o  
  
T.T  
;_;  
:P  
@_@ @.@  
U_U  
n_n  
x_x x.X  
?_?  
  
¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿??????????????¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ 


	15. Dracula Needs New Shoes! BLEH!

Disclaimer: .....*disclaimer person walks in, hangs up a sign on  
his/her/its door, and walks away.*  
  
Sign: "I am on vacation. GO AWAY!!!"  
  
=___=___=____=____=  
  
A/N: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! WHY AM I UPDATING SO LATE?!?!?!?!?! Well,  
actually, I made a list of excuses.  
I was overwhelmed by the number of questions/problems you sent in and  
decided to go into hibernation for a while.  
2. I'm lazy.  
I'm an ahou.  
I'm a lazy ahou.  
5. I got a new computer and it's confusing me....@.@ DAMN YOU, DELL  
COMPUTER!!!!!! DAMN YOUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!  
6. Apparently Saitou does not enjoy having confetti thrown at him. Not even  
to celebrate New Year's Eve.  
7. My mind is evil and keeps coming up with ideas for new fanfics instead  
of ideas for this one.  
8. Last but not least, my muses never, ever, EVER do their jobs.  
  
Pathetic excuses, but it's true.....Besides, I'm a pathetic person. *sobs*  
NO ONE LIKES ME!!!!!!! ......Nevermind.  
  
Oh, and ONE of you is the 200th reviewer! I have no idea who, 'cause I'm  
too much of a lazy ahou to check......SO YOU ALL GET CREDIT! AND  
CAAAAAANNNNNNDDDDYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *tosses [insert name  
of favorite candy(ies)] at reviewers.*  
  
____________________________________________  
  
Chapter Announcer Guy: Chapter Fifteen: Dracula Wants New Shoes! Bleh! (And  
this title makes no sense! BLEH!)  
  
____________________________________________  
  
Cast of RK: (sitting at booths in the middle of a small auditorium, staring  
blankly at each other and looking at all the letters asking for advice they  
have received. Each cast member has their own booth.)  
  
Director: (walks in) Well?  
  
Everyone: o.o  
  
Director: Don't just sit there! Answer the letters, damn it! WE'RE POOR,  
REMEMBER?!?!  
  
Yumi: O.o Remembembemberber? [try saying that 5 times fast]  
  
Misao: Remembembemberber! ^_____________^  
  
Aoshi: Remembembemberber!!!!! ^_^  
  
Everyone: Remembembemberber!!!!!!! REMEMBEMBEMBERBERRRRRR!!!!!!  
^____________________________^  
  
Director: o.0 (gives them pens and pencils and paper and such, then  
leaves.)  
  
Kenshin: (reads aloud) This is from Houndingwolf....  
  
"Problem #1: Sometimes, usually on the full moon, I have these great dreams  
of running and running and running and running and running and running and  
running and running and running and running and smelling the wind and the  
rain and the forest then I wake up all dirty and my hands and feet really  
really hurt and sometimes I see some fur and my bed and what does it all  
mean?  
  
Problem #2: You see I have this habit of saying things over and over and  
over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and  
over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and  
over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and  
over and over and..."  
  
Everyone: O.O (stares at each other)  
  
Saitou: Well, the answer to the first problem is that this Houndingwolf  
person is obviously a rabid were-squirrel.  
  
Kenshin: Of course! It's so very obvious! Why didn't I think of it before?  
  
Everyone besides Kenshin: (in unison) BECAUSE, you're KENSHIN! ^_^  
  
Kenshin: (nods happily and starts writing.)  
  
Dear Houndingwolf,  
  
Thank you for taking the time to help feed us. (We're poor.) In  
response to your first problem, my friends/enemies/fellow insane comrades  
believe that you are probably a rabid were-squirrel. This would explain the  
fur and only having the 'dream' on nights of a full moon. As for repeating  
yourself, I seem to have the same problem, that I do. Only, I repeat  
myself at the end of my sentences, that I do. Maybe you should eat more  
sugar. Sugar solves everything! Really! IT'S TRUE! SUGAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sincerely,  
Himura Kenshin  
  
Kaoru: (sticks it in an envelope, seals it, puts a stamp on it, runs  
outside, and stuffs it in the mail box with lightning quick speed.)  
  
Words: (appear on the 'screen'.) This was done in fast motion.  
  
Kamatari: Shiiiiiiny......Worrrrddddssss......I WANT TO TOUCH THE SHINY!  
(tries to touch the words)  
  
Chou: (appears out of no where and pulls Kamatari back.)  
NNNUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
IIIIIIITTTTTT'SSSSS NNNNNNOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTT SSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAFFFFFFEEEEEEEE,  
KAAAAAMMMMMAAAAAAATTTTTTTTAAAAAAARRRRRRRIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
NNNNNNUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kamatari: (suddenly stops) Then maybe.....I should follow him.....  
  
Chou: But-but---but.....Storytelling is what the Juppon Gatana was  
originally formed for, but then Shishio went and made us take over Japan,  
or else we wouldn't get candy canes to give to small children! (sobs) When  
you joined, we had become monsters! All we ever wanted to do was tell  
children majgickal fairy tales of princesses and water color markers, but  
we were forced to kill people!!!!!! Shishio always said you'd be the best  
little storyteller! BUT YOU WEREN'T! AND HE LIED, OH THE LIES HE TOLD!!!!!!  
(sobs uncontrollably)  
  
Kamatari: Really? Then I must LIIIIIIVVVVVE!!!!!!!!!!!! (hallelujah music  
plays)  
  
Yahiko: Was even one sentence of that following the script?  
  
Kamatari: .........WHERE ARE THE SHINY WORDS?!?!?!  
  
Words: (have disappeared)  
  
Everyone: NNNNNNNNUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nevermind.  
  
Soujiro: The next letter is from D-Caf (aka Sandr). (starts reading.)  
  
"You see, if bologna took over the world, then would cheese taste like  
french fries? Is the square root of clam cheese olives? What are the  
natural effects of sugar on cholosteral organisms called Bob but the  
scientific name is Bolonious Moofis if the lunar Eclipse is on Tuesday  
September 42? And also, I have an even BIGGER problem! I need someone to  
somehow make me able to give Yahiko and Soujiro a hug. I DON'T CARE HOW! I  
WANT A HUG FROM MY FAVE CHARACTERS! Kenshin, if you help me, I'll give you  
SUGAR!"  
  
Kenshin: SUGAR?!?! WHERE?!?! (runs around looking for the sugar)  
  
Aoshi: Wellllll.....(straightens nonexistent tie and fixes the position of  
his nonexistent glasses. Begins to type on high tech computer stolen from  
the electronics store next door.)  
The answers to your questions, in order, are: Yes, No (it's moldy cheese  
omelets), and the natural effects of sugar on cholosteral organisms called  
Bob but the scientific name is Bolonious Moofis if the lunar eclipse is on  
Tuesday September 42 is that Bob, or Bolonious Moofis will spontaneously  
combust, spreading joy to Transylvanian children everywhere while they ride  
moose through Germany. Your last question is best left to Kenshin. Thank  
you. (signs name in really fancy script)  
  
Kenshin: (also straightens nonexistent tie and begins to type on stolen  
computer.) I shall steal some of the authoress's magic using the power of  
SUGAR so that you may come into our studio and hug Soujiro and Yahiko!  
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (steals authoress's powers)  
  
D-Caf: (suddenly materializes.) What the---? HEY, LOOK!!!  
SOUJIROOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAHIKOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (starts  
running at an amazing speed towards her two favorite characters)  
  
Soujiro: O.O (runs for dear life)  
  
Yahiko: O.O GAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! (also runs for dear life)  
  
D-Caf: COME BAAAAACCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!! (chases them around and around and  
around and around the studio.)  
  
==================================  
  
Meanwhile, with the authoress.......  
  
Taji Yokaze: HEY! KENSHIN NO BAKA! *sighs* Oh well. This should be  
interesting.  
  
Bakura: O.o How'd Kenshin do that?!  
  
Yami Bakura: *suddenly appears* With the power of CHEESE! *walks away. Gets  
run over by a truck. Gets up, brushes himself off, and walks off to plan  
revenge on the truck.*  
  
Taji & Bakura: O.O  
  
Taji: -_-;; I have no power over my story.  
  
===========================================  
  
Hiko: Hey, baka deshi! There's another one who wants to *own* Soujiro!  
Sake!  
  
Kenshin: (blinks) But I'M the main character! DON'T THEY REALIZE THAT?!?!?!  
ARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! Who is it?  
  
Megumi: Hakaita.  
  
Kenshin: (reads letter) I KNOW! I'LL FORCE HER TO GIVE ME SUGAR!!!!  
(transports Hakaita to the studio)  
  
Hakaita: (appears) WORLD DOMINATION! WORLD DOMINATION!  
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! O.O Um....Hi.....LOOK! SOU-CHAN! (joins D-Caf in the  
chasing of Soujiro) SOUJIRO!!!!!! COME HERE, SOU-CHAN!  
  
D-Caf: (stops. Glares at the other Soujiro fanatic.) Soujiro is MINE!  
  
Hakaita: NO! MIIIIINE!  
  
D-Caf: MINE!  
  
Hakaita: MINE!  
  
D-Caf: MINE!  
  
Hakaita: MINE!  
  
Sanosuke: I have an idea.  
  
Everyone: (gasps. Faints. Unfaints.)  
  
Sanosuke: Hakaita can have Soujiro, and D-Caf can have Yahiko!  
  
Yahiko & Soujiro: NANI?!?!?!  
  
D-Caf & Hakaita: OKAY! ^_^ (both hug Soujiro, and D-Caf hugs Yahiko)  
  
D-Caf: (suddenly glares at Hakaita again) But you have to share!  
  
Hakaita: No I don't!  
  
D-Caf: Yes you do!  
  
Hakaita: NO I DON'T!  
  
D-Caf: YES YOU DO!  
  
Both: (argue at the back of the room, dragging Soujiro and Yahiko, now  
bound with rope, with them.)  
  
Megumi: COFFEE!  
  
Misao: ONE! TWO! A ONE, TWO, THREE!  
  
Everyone: GIMME A BREAK, GIMME A BREAK, BREAK ME OFF A PIECE O' THAT  
KITTKATT BAR! (promptly fall asleep.) [A/N: They need a break. IT'S SO HARD  
TO ANSWER LETTERS! *sobs*]  
  
===============================================  
  
Taji: *stares at computer screen, watching the story, which is now writing  
itself.* O.o  
  
Bakura: 0.o This is....odd....  
  
Taji: Yeah, just like Jineh's voice in the Reflection OVA. He was BRITISH!  
Who the heck picked out his voice actor?!  
  
Bakura: ....o.0......  
  
Taji: .....I mean, I was half expecting him to say, "Good show, mate!" or  
something....  
  
Bakura: -_-;;  
  
=====================================================  
  
Everyone: (wakes up)  
  
Misao: Now what?  
  
Jineh: (randomly appears) (has British accent) Tea time, everyone! (hands  
out cups of tea) (smiles his freaky smile that makes him look like a  
skeleton)  
  
Kenshin: Are these breakable??? (throws tea cup at the wall and watches it  
shatter with fascination.)  
  
Jineh: Good show, good show!  
  
Everyone: O.o  
  
Kaoru: KEY OF THE TWILIGHT!!!!!!!!  
  
Tsukasa: (also randomly appears) I want to find the key of the twilight!  
  
Saitou: And what will you do when you find it? Will you use it to log out?  
  
Tsukasa: (beams) Nope! I'm going to eat it!  
  
Mimiru: (jumps through the window and hurls herself at Tsukasa)  
NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! DON'T DOOOOOO THAAAAAAATTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tsukasa: O.O AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!  
  
Both: (Just as they're about to hit the wall, what do you know! They fall  
through a random portal!)  
  
Sano: Well. That was weird.  
  
Megumi: YOU LIAR!!!!!!!! (throws her tea cup at Sano)  
  
Kenshin: (watches, entranced by the shattering tea cups of doom) @.@  
  
Misao: LOOK!!!!!!! (throws her tea cup at Aoshi's new sombrero that he went  
out to buy during the terribly long period in which he had no dialogue.)  
  
Tea Cup: (shatters)  
  
Kenshin: @.@ Preeeeeettttttttyyyyyyyy.....@_____________@  
  
Jineh: (bursts into tears) STOP BREAKING MY TEA CUPS, YOU FREAKS!!!!!!!  
(runs away with the remaining tea cups. stops and looks back.) Good show!  
(keeps running.)  
  
Kenshin: (cries) HE TOOK THE PRETTY SHATTERING PORCELAIN "MY LITTLE PONY"  
TEA CUPS THAT WERE HYPNOTIZING ME WITH THEIR PRETTY SHATTERING PORCELAIN-  
NESS AWAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (sniff)  
  
Kaoru: There, there, Kenshin! It's all right!  
  
Kenshin: (sniffle) Really?  
  
Kaoru: Yes! Because dandelions are blue, not alligator green!  
  
Kenshin: I feel so much better now! Thank you, Miss Kaoru! (grabs Aoshi's  
sombrero and runs around hitting things with it.)  
  
Sano: PETCO!  
  
Saitou: Where the pets go.  
  
Hiko: Gingerbread. Sake. Yep. Sake. I AM NOT AN ALCOHOLIC!!!!!!! Sakeeeee!  
  
Aoshi: (tearfully) MISAAAAAOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Misao: What's the matter, Aoshi???????  
  
Aoshi: EVERYONE'S OUT TO GET MY SOMBRERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can't my sombrero  
live in PEACE?!?!?!  
  
Enishi: (comes out of nowhere. the scene suddenly freezes, except Enishi,  
who is wearing a suit and tie.) Has this ever happened to you? Or do you  
know someone who has a sombrero that is being abused? Then please call 1-  
800-SAFESOMBRERO. That's 1-800-SAFESOMBRERO. Please call if you know an  
abused sombrero. We have all witnessed tragedies like these----(gestures to  
scene behind him)----and we at Sombrero Protection Agency want to make the  
world a safe place for sombreros to live in peace and harmony. Our lines  
are always open. Thank you. (walks away. everything unfreezes.)  
  
Everyone: KENSHIN'S GOT THE MAGIC WITH CLOROX!!!!!!!! (stuff socks in their  
mouths and play follow the leader, the sombrero being the leader.)  
  
Sombrero: .....(acts like a sombrero)  
  
Everyone: .....(acts like a sombrero)  
  
..........TO BE CONTINUED...........  
  
=============================================================  
  
Enishi:  
I would like to tell you all a little story. Once upon a time, there  
was very sad and lonely little box at the bottom of a web page. No one  
really knew whether it was purple or blue. But it was very lonely and  
no one ever clicked on it. ....Until one day, when one very nice  
person clicked on it, and from there the amount of clicking seemed to  
grow and grow. Finally, the amount of clicks had risen up to over 200,  
and the person who adopted the box was very, very happy. Before long,  
that little box had begun to depend on the nice people's clicks to  
stay alive. Kinda like being addicted to a drug. Except this was a  
good thing, and it didn't hurt the box. But, anyway, if the box was  
not clicked at least once every few weeks, it would die. Don't you  
feel sorry for the poor little box? You do? You're crazy! It's just a  
stupid box! It doesn't have feelings! *cough* Eh...So just click on  
the kamidamned little box, okay? Okay. Thank you.  
  
============================================================= 


End file.
